I married my husband in dec 2010 I was 2 months preg (his baby) found out after a while he was addicted to pills (also doing weed and many other drugs) he would get so messed up he would pass out and I couldn't wake him...took him to the ER (7 months preg and quite big) he couldn't walk could barely talk they said he was definately abusing drugs but they couldn't help me "just let him sleep it off" they didn't seem to understand this was a pretty much daily thing. after that he attempted suicide about three times (overdosing on purpose) he would tell me if i left he would kill himself. after a few times trying to get him help (including rehab and mental services at local hospital) he told me he didn't want our baby and couldn't stop the pills. I left...even though he continued to threaten me and make a huge mess of the apartment that I was trying to pack up....that was eight months ago. I now live with my mom and my beautiful 6 month old daughter. Okay there is some background. He just got released from a mental hospital that he was committed to after he attempted suicide again. He texted me saying he will see his daughter no matter what it takes (more threats). I know he doesn't really care about her seeing as he doesn't even care about himself I'm just scared what he may try to do...Me and baby both have my maiden name and he isn't on the birth cert. I have voice mails he left be in last year threatening and calling our baby names. Should I take him to court and try to get sole custody and hope they see him for what he is...or do I wait for him to disappear like I know he will?
I am usually a person who is in favor of trying to work it out so the child has both parents in his life to support and guide him. But in this case, I say go to court and take care of it now. "SAFETY" is always a first issue with children and from what you have stated, He does not seem capable of being a responsible parent. If you wait for him to just go away...the problem will still exist. He can always come back or may choose to not go away this time. If you go to court and put up a safety net of protection you will feel like you do not have to always be looking over your shoulder. If, by some chance, he does change in the future, then he can go to court and work something out to be in his child's life when he is more responsible. Do what is going to make you and your child feel safe.
Thank you. After she was born CPS showed up checking me out (I have nothing negative in my past) they decided to put a "safety plan" against him for the first month of her life they investigated him said he "kinda passed his drug test" (it showed opiates and amphetamines) the CPS officer advised I try to keep him away from her. I'm living with my mom, I'm currently not working so I can spend time with my daughter and the only lawyer I can afford is legal aid...I've never missed one of baby's doc appts. shes obviously healthy and had all of her shots...none of my family has been in any trouble where as his (that he lives with) are all known drug addicts and been in and out of jail...I would hope a judge would take this into consideration but I'm worried I'll get one that can't see him for the dangerous man he is...
Do things legally this way he cannot come back and fight you. If you think he won't...he will. Mine came back when he sobered up and now I have 50/50 custody. Had I done it earlier it would have been easier for the courts to decide I was the responsible parent but because he's sobered up and did AA they found no fault in him. I worry every time my kids are with him theat he"ll slip. He's done it inthe past so I know he"ll do it again.
Get sole custody. DO it now while you can prove that he is unfit. then like susan said if he sobers up and is ready to be a parent then you can go from there. You and your daughter's safety is the only thing that matters at this point.