Hi Gals...I have been separated from my husband for over a year. He was not a prince (and he admits it) He has stepped outside the box for as he called "someone to talk to" 3 times. Of course that leading to the separation. We communicate. Kids are grown. 20 years under our belts. I thought I was done with the whole realtionship, therefore started dating. Found a real nice guy. Treats me wonderfully. Does things for me that the stbx tried I guess, but I never accepted. For whatever reason. We both care about each other very much and of course he has since discovered that the grass is not greener on the other side. Reconsiladation? I still have very deep feelings for him...but I'm not sure why? The new man is sweet and kind and sincere. He has lots of freinds. stbx doesn't even have any friends, I guess it was just me for 20 yrs. Torn between 2 ???

Elise,

I can connect with this. I have no answer for you though. Im still trying to find my own.

'The new love is calling, the old love is pleading Im caught in a riptide. What should I do?'
(Robert Palmer).

20 years runs deep.
Sometimes we want to love the 'right' person, the one who is kind and sweet, has integrity, thoughtful. In our head we know this is the sensible road, however our hearts can say something very different although we dont want it to.
who's company do you actually enjoy the most (on a day to day basis, not just the really good memories)? Who would you prefer spending time with?

I wish I could help more, its not a nice place to be.