Thank you for your support...My husband is threatening to take my daughter and is telling me I should go somewhere for a vacation...I know no one in this state and feel very helpless and hurt. He works out of town for most of the week and for yrs I covered up his drug problems now that he hasnt done that for a while hes trying to leave me with nothing.I gave up every thing for my children and made the mistake of not having a career.I feel panicked
You are going to discover how very strong you are through this process. Have you contacted a lawyer? You can go for a free consultation. I'd go and make sure they know he is threatening to take your daughter. She will have a say on where she goes, he can't just do what he wants. Definitely don't go on vacation! (Although I doubt you were going to anyway). So what's his problem? He's an addict, been clean for a while, suddenly thinks he's in control? What does your daughter think of all this? You said you have children, why is he threatening to take just your daughter? So you haven't had a career, you'll get one. Take things one step at a time. If you think about it all at once, it's too overwhelming. First step, go see a lawyer. Get some advice, see where you stand. After that, you'll know what step 2 is. Keep posting here, it's good to write out your frustrations and know someone is reading it. You have support here.
I could cut and paste your comment! My goal was to not have my daughter be a statistic! Wanted her to grow up in a house, with both parents, a dog etc. well I held on longer than I should have. Although she is 17 and graduating in a few months, she hates her father and has expressed to me that she thought about killing him because of his lack of love and alienation from us. We went to court on Valentines Day Yes this past Monday and now after 15 years we are legally seperated. Im bewildered to say the very least. I am 100% sure that I as an individual will be just fine in time but It hurts to look at my child in the here and now and know that she will have daddy issues throughout her adult life and her father who depends on me to be the glue cant do right in the marriage so he will self distruct during the seperation.
I am going through the same thing with my daughter. No matter what a great mother you are, they are definitely going to have "daddy issues" and that will in turn may unfortunately spill over into her relationships with men and the way she will allow them to treat her. I am trying to teach my 15-year-old self respect, independence and self-love. My husband (we are at the beginning stage of divorce) has been abusive throughout our 30 year history (yes, I was 14 when I met him and had "daddy issues" myself). I am finally breaking the cycle and do not want her to end up in divorce beat up by the turmoil. I am leading by example and am hoping and praying my positive influence is stronger than his negative one. Stay strong. You will find strength when you least expect it.