If we keep on doing the same things over and over we shouldnt be surprised that the outcome is always the same.

I think this concept is harder for men to grasp than women.

What changes have you made in your lives to enrich yourself (this is purely about YOU)?

First thing I did was change my hair, I had been blond for too many years, trendy but well just mumsy.

I had it dyed chocolate brown with purple hilights. I have since ventured to chocolate brown, purple and fire red hilights. People comment on my hair and if I do say so myself, it looks really nice and it feels more of true reflection of the inner me.

I started to paint too. Not an artistic bone in my body but I always wanted to paint. One day I went out and bought all the stuff, sat with it all around me and just did it. I dont draw things because (right now) I cant. So I figured what I could do was paint my feelings just using colours. Thats what I do. I get so much enjoyment out of it because they dont have to make sense and I get lost in the process for hours.

Some paintings have been so abismall that Ive binned them, some paintings are so nice they are up on walls at work, friends, family. Its hit and miss. It doesnt matter that they are good or rubbish, what counts is the pleasure I get from creating these things. It is a pleasure I gain from doing something myself. It is not something anyone else can give me/do for me.

So ladies I ask, what are you doing for you that you couldnt before? And if you arent doing anything what would you LIKE to do?

We have to be individuals as well as all the other things we have to be, if we dont find room for 'us' then its simply a waste of a good life we have been given. Its not selfish it is critical for us to be who we are supposed to be.

Hair must be our first thought. I never had time to keep up with mine or money..ex spend every spare dime on whiskey. What I had I used for the kids. Now I get my hair done every 6 weeks. I change the highlights every time. Last week I was blonde with carmel and dark brown highlight this week I am brown with blonde and red highlights.
I also get a deep tissue massage every month. I spend time making me happy so that I can be a better Mom to my boys. I work full time and am usually exhausted by 8pm at night. Being a true single Mom is hard! Before I didn't have help but he was there ya know? Now I can't just go as I please so when I get the chance I take it. I do something just for me.
When the weather permits it I walk 3 to 4 miles a day before work. If it's ugly I use the stair climber. It's little changes but now I am more relaxed. I feel better about myself. I'm not just someone's wife, someone's mother I am me. I am happy.
Oh and I did go get myself that hand bag yesterday and the wallet too. Spent a weeks pay on it but boy does it look good hanging off my arm

I threw out my old underwear & converted to all sexy thongs & victoria secret bras. No one sees them but me but one day they will! In the meantime, I have a little extra swagger knowing what others dont! I can only hope that at night my husband peels off a pair of big boy carters from his "I thought the grass was greener new woman!"

LOLS.

strange isnt it how we can become 'individuals' again.

As for the lingerie. Yup I hear ya, ex would have a fit if he could see beneath the clothes nowadays.



Lisa I tell you I love massages. Im in financial hell at the moment but when I get on an even keel Ill be back at my salon.

Abbey, you posted this right as I was thinking about this in my own life. Truthfully, I always felt guilty if I EVER sat and watched TV or anything besides clean up after my family. I was always doing something-relaxation just wasn't 'allowed.' So now I have been allowing myself to be a couch potato at times. And it FEELS GOOD!

I was thinking the other day, though, that I do need to get on a regular exercise program. I'd really like for the weather to cooperate so I can get outside and walk. Still working on this plan. I HATE the treadmill!

Like Abbey, I'm in financial hell, so that does impact some things I do-or don't do. Mostly, though, I go when I want to go, visit family whenever I want, and SLEEP IN. Unfortunately, sleeping in at my house doesn't usually take me past 7:30 or 8:00, but I make the choice!

I let myself sleep in at the weekend - sometimes till around 9:00! I've also started dyeing my hair again, and getting regular haircuts. LOL...WK freaked out after I got the first haircut - he had texted me, all buddy-buddy, 'hiya, what's up with you today, Dear?'. I told him, 'I cut my hair!' Radio silence!! Then I send him a picture of it and he called me. It was hilarious! (I got three inches of dead ends cut off, but the way he reacted, you'd think I had gotten a green Mohawk!)

Well, they do say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results! LOL!!

Which would suggest we all married nutters!!!!!!!!

Great post, love to hear all the things we are doing for ourselves!

For me, my thing I am doing differently is NOT TAKING HIM BACK.

For 20 years, he has treated me like I don't count. Whenever I want to leave, he becomes human and treats me well. I used to be SO happy for validation from him, like YES! I DO EXIST! See, if HE acknowledges me then surely I MUST matter!! (sob sob, how PATHETIC ) Anyway, now he is trying to get back with me again. For ummm, IDK, maybe a month or so? Anyway, I am being nice to him. But I am NOT inviting him into my bed!! He's actually been a great guy lately, I was THINKING about maybe I could cave and give him a little diddle and see how it goes.... But then today something minor came up and the way he reacted, well, phew, yes I have been right and I am so glad for this little reminder that he is NOT worth taking back and he SO does NOT deserve to have me! HA! Yeah, he was mad, I don't care. I took off with my daughter, we went out and had fun. I felt better when I came back. Life with him is STRESSFUL, life without him is JOYFUL. I started feeling afraid, saying to myself, why did you say those things, he will pull away, make things more difficult, then I thought SO WHAT. Life can't get any worse than it is with him, so what if he tries to make things harder for me. There is nothing he can do to upset me. Go ahead, make things difficult financially, I'll find a way. Want the kids? Ha, he would never try, he couldn't handle it. Besides, they are old enough to make up their own minds, all I'd get is a bit of time to myself, no WAY would I lose them!

So that's what I am doing differently, I am ENDING the cycle by not taking him back. Yeah me!

Strongspirit


YOU GO GIRL

I figured out how to repair my driveway...by mixing concrete and pouring it in the cracks....

I bought myself a trowel...and just made the seams in the concrete. It's fun...didn't think I could do it...but hey...have to start. An added bonus..is that the ants won't be crawling all over the driveway because I'm fixing the cracks now.

I hope to have enough skills to renovate by myself one day!...Something along the line of a beautiful light fixture. I would like to do that by myself.

Dee

That's awesome Dee & very therapeutic. I just put a new kitchen faucet in & repaired my leaking washing machine. It feels great to be the man of the house so to speak! The only time I ranted every swear word on record was last year when I spent 12 hours straight shoveling! but ya know what, I did it & was proud of it. Hard work & the fruits of your labor foster such independent pride. Keep it up girl. I plan on single handely fixing all the issues in my 115 yr old house, with a smile on my face.

I am taking a home improvement class mainly for women, starts soon! Check your local adult school, mine is awesome, can't wait, I'll learn all kinds of things so I can take care of the basics myself! FUN! AND freeing!! Can't beat that!
Dyed my hair tonight, daughter will cut it for me (it's waist length, yucky at my age but I can't stand hair salons) She'll cut off 3 inches or so (she's excited to do it, otherwise stbx would have but she can't stand that thought!), will take 20 seconds and with the dye, hopefully look healthier!

Good! Maybe you can help me fix the 101 things wrong with my old farmhouse?!

You got it! Thanks for the vote of confidence that I won't make matters worse (as has been the case thus far...reason for trying the class!) Hopefully I'll get through the whole thing without being kicked out I really shouldn't be allowed around power tools (or electricity in general, sharp objects, etc.) but I LIKE it!

We can have a sanding & painting party. You help with the labor & I will supply all the wine you can drink & some good laughs:)

Hows the new hair looking Strongspirit?

If we can do the DIY ourselves;

A) Itll get done in a quarter of the time.

B) The air will only be mildly blue

C) We will manage without having a personal 'stand there and pass me.....' assistant.

And most importantly.....

D) Itll be done RIGHT!