Hi Abbey

If it was me, I would go after the house. I don't know if you are divorce already, but try to remove ex from the legal title of the home. Then, refinance or talk to your bank. If you get a good banker, they will find a way for you to pay down the mortgage without repossession.

Once you have the house, you will save on rent. Then work out a plan to pay down the credit card. The same bank can give you a bank loan to pay off the credit card....once that is done, then pay down the bank loan. Credit cards are good but the interest will hurt you in the end. Bank loan interest are much lower.

Your ex will do what he will to bring you down but if you have a good team then you should do fine.

With the house, you can always rent out a room for extra income too....

Dee

I think you have to ask yourself whether it would be easier and better if you left and whether it would be easier if you stayed. I am thinking that it isn't time yet...perhaps in the future. How will you support yourself? What will his reaction be if you left?

Can you find a job or a part time job now and once you have funds, start to leave?...

As for the emotional abuse, make sure it doesn't deteriorate into physical abuse. If it is emotional, then you can go for counselling to remove the effects.

These are questions only you can answer because you know him best.

Hi Dee

divorced final since July. Bank will not remove either of us from mortgage now because it has gone too far, they would rather have two people responsible than one.
I have written to credit cards through an agency explaining my situation, I have offered low payments until my situation changes. That would have been a great help when child support was coming in but now it isnt Im in more or less the same situation.

Im trying to decide what to do for the best, it takes up a lot of my time trying to figure it all out. thanks for the advice

Banks make this situation extremely difficult. How hard have you pushed them? I need to get the title in my name and have no way to get his signature for removal since he abandoned his life and is "missing". I was determined and stayed on the phone until I got to a level of Customer Service that could help me. There are ways they can do this but they get tons of calls everyday so they are taught to give the "standard" answer and hope you will go away. It's a big waste of time but they are bound to certain regulations and this weeds out all of the people who are just fighting one day and love birds the next.

Go to the bank.
See if you are a joint owner on any accounts.
Simply present identification and use the phrase, "I would like to see if I have any accounts here."

If you are a joint owner on the account then you can withdraw money without the other party's permission.

Just a thought.

Get out of there as fast as you can, it's called a Leap of Faith. What you won't or haven't done for yourself, do for your children, the most important people in this clip. Trust God, that is really all you have to do. Why pray if you are going to worry and why worry if you are going to pray? I'm just saying . . . . .

Hi Im in the same boat as you and my mom also told me to stick it out cause eventually everyone gets fedup and also if you leave then and find out that he is involved with someone else and moving on you will be able to handle it much better, and trust me parents always see futher in the future, cause your mom might also be worried that you might end up being very depressed and neglecting your child in the process if he moves on with his life and you havent. My husband is verbally abusive every single day of stupid things and he looks for something to vent about, for ten years now he havent lifted a finger towards me so lucky me no physical abuse and that I wont allow cause the minute he do anything of that sort I will end everything immediately, so I dont know if your husband is physically abusive but if yes I would say get out, not that verbal abuse is fine dont get me wrong cause verbal abuse is bad for both you and your kids but just hang in their and wait till you emotionally strong enough to leave.