Celia, unless your stbx is willing to lose out himself then you will not find yourself pennyless. You ran a house/home for 30 years, that is no mean feat and you developed more skills than you could ever dream of through that time, you simply arent recognising them.

For living in a place you dont want to, well this sometimes happens to the best of us, its a matter of a stiff upper lip and sometimes its necessary.
You are indeed very lucky that you have the means to go out and find yourself a home. I for one did have an ex who was willing to go down in order to see me go down with him, my dream now is to be able to afford somewhere for just me and my son. Right now it is impossible due to the whole financial game played out.

The time will pass quickly and you have a new future that you can shape to look forward to. Dont let a bleep pull you down, you have survived this far you will see the finish line. Keep your head up, and start decorating your new place in your head.

You will get there.

Abbey,

OOOOOHHHH WOW!!! You said it all. Thank you SOOOO much for all those encouraging words and wisdom.


What your ex-husband did is the same as what my soon ex wants. Don't know why??

Celia, I don't know where this saying originated, but I've always liked it: Illegitimis non carborundum, which, translated, means 'Don't let the *******s grind you down!'

Wishing you the best!!

Amen

Celia, you ask why they do it.

Spite is the only thing I can think of. After having such control over us all those years, to suddenly lose it drives them nuts, so they set out to punish us for daring to cut their ties of control. How dare we???

So its almost an act of vengeance and yes they are willing to cut off their own nose just to gain that bit of satisfaction.

sad but true.

Guess what though, financial disaster is easier to live with than the control. And the financial outcome is very much the last card they can play.
My ex had a business, we had money etc etc. Now he is unemployed looking for a job and guess who drops him food off? Yup. Im in a very bad situation because of his 'revenge' tactics. But his situation is worse. And Im not quite as heavy hearted as he is. So it all has a way of working out I guess.
I may not have the finances but I do have my integrity. Priceless. You will be fine

Abbey,


Yes I will be fine. It hurts sooo much but living in peace and with integrity as you said is PRICELESS!!!


Thanks to you and to the women in this forum.