Does anyone else obsess about why? I feel that I have to know, exactly why "SHE" is better then me if I am ever going to begin to get past the horror show I feel I have been living in since August 22nd of last year.
Husband says there is really nothing wrong with me. I know that I am not perfect but deep in my heart I also know that I do not deserve what he is doing to me. At the very least, the bonds of marriage and 32 years together should have compelled him to try to work it out. And I believe that my actions throughout our marriage deserved better than this. I truly tried my best, I was lied to about what he was feeling and thinking and now he refuses to believe that I NEVER knew he was unhappy. Surely he has seen from my efforts over the past 7 months that had I know he was unhappy I would have done anything in my power to correct it. I LOVE him.
But I still NEED to know why I am not good enough for him. I need to know why she is so much better that he can give up, not just me, but his entire life to take a chance with her on the other side of the country. I feel like such a failure. I know deep inside that I am not but I still feel like one. How do I get past this?

Alone, I am so sorry that you are hurting so much. I understand your pain as I am going through the same thing knowing my husband is choosing her over me. I don't have any answers for you but wish that I knew you in real life so that we could talk about what we are both going through. Are we allowed to exchange email addresses here? Please let me know. Big hugs to you!

OH yes!! I wish many of us could get together and have regular lunches or something. I need to try to find a support group or something but I feel like I already know many of the women here and a support group would just be a bunch of strangers, at least at first. I have no idea if we can exchange e-mail or facebook addresses here but I wish we could. Does anyone have this information?

You can share your email address if you want to. I have talked to a few women here through email.

I too have wondered why I wasn't good enough. SHE was only a small part of my failed marriage. I had to compete with not just her but the bars, the drinks and the thrill of a "single existence" My ex admitted to my Mother that he like being a Father/Husband Monday thru Friday and he liked being the "clown" at the bar Friday thru Sunday. It's even harder to except. My children and I needed him and he was off playing at some bar? I just don't get it.
Know what my MIL told me when I left her son?
"If you would have just gone to the bar with him your marriage would have worked"
Really?? What about her grand children? Would it have been better for them to have both their parents drunk all the time? To be left with strangers every Friday night? Or worse for us to both have been killed drinking and driving?
Wondering why another person is better would have been easier...wondering what a drink has that I don't well that cuts my heart in half every time.

Every time the flea had a girlfriend he was tired and unhappy with his life. The affair would end and he would be happy again. For me at the beginning it was like what does she have that I don't, now I know I am a good mother, wife and woman, it is him. There is something wrong with him. I know I am happy without him and I really don't need him, what I just need is his money and as long as I am getting it, is all I care for.

Alone and lonely, you both are in similar situations I don't know if I could have lived like you are, the flea wanted a year to move out, accordingly to him he needed money, the truth was he did not want to leave. I made his choice and I told him to get the he11 out. Look into your marriage you will see, yes they are good times but there are also bad times. Take care ladies and keep us posted.

Alone I try not to obsess, but find myself having conversations with him in my head. I even told him on the phone a few weeks ago that I just didn't understand, and he had nothing to say. They are just messed up men. We need to accept that and know that we are better off without them. It will take time to figure that out. I have to remind myself of the bad that I overlooked because I loved him. Notice I use past tense. I can honestly say I don't love him anymore. I don't get how we can go on a trip to DC and have a great time and 2 months later he starts cheating. Like I say, it's not us, it's them. I am guilty of feeling worthless and inadequate at times to. But we need to band together and say NO. It is them. They are all selfish and looking for a thrill. And they will have it. Till the newness wears off. Or she discovers who they really are. You are a dear woman, I can tell from your posts. I really wish we could all get together and talk. I have looked for divorce support groups where I live and have not found any yet. This forum and you ladies keep me going.