I am still so plagued by the sleeping problems! I usually have a very high energy level but it is greatly diminished by my lack of sleep. This is Sunday morning and a day to finally sleep in. I woke up at 3:38 and my mind went crazy going over everything at lightning speed. I still notice alot of us ladies don't seem to be sleeping yet. At first I also had trouble eating but unfortunately that has pretty well gone away.(Would like to lose 20 lbs) Since I'm only 5ft tall this is alot on my small frame. I really would like to get back to a size 4 which I was for many, many years. The last ten years or so those few pounds each year crept on and didn't come off. I think this would help me feel better about myself. All in all I still look better than my stbx. He is really much older for his years than I am even though he is only 9 days older than me. I guess my big problem is I know somehow this could be worked out so we could both once again be happy and fall in love again. We did have a good sex life but my sex drive was much greater than his since the start. That is really something I miss the intimacy! We still live together if you want to call it that. He informed me I didn't have to cook for him he would take care of that. I do though still do his laundry. He hasn't told me he would take care of that yet. I hate to see laundry so it's easier for me to do it. He comes and goes as if he isn't bothered one bit by all this. Go figure. I feel like a split personality most of the time. I am almost manic with the highs and lows. This just isn't me. I hate not having some kind of grip on my emotions. We say maybe literally two words to each other in a week. You know what they say about silence being deafening. Since there is no communication I have no idea about his future plans, such as is he moving? I hate being alone! I almost think it is better having him here in the flesh if not in spirit than having him gone. I have had one appointment with a therapist. He is very good but very booked up. My next appointment isn't until 5-26-11. Almost two months after the first appointment. He wants me to see if my husband will come with me then,at least for one appointment. I really think that won't happen. He did not want to go to marriage counseling which I would still be willing to try. I know ending this marriage is the best thing for me. I really wish I didn't want so badly for this to work out in the end. I have taken all the important legal steps to protect my share of our assets. Again this is the major problem in the marriage. He had a death grip on all the money and is very selfish!!!!!!! He was an only child and I don't know if that has any thing to do with it. The fact that he has once again started to drink is a major problem for me as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will never go back to that again. I noticed he is curbing it alot. ( He is now a diabetic controlled by medication not insulin) I think he has problems when he drinks to much which is a good thing! This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life and I hate it! If it were not for this site and you wonderful ladies I think I would just give up and die. I have my two girls and beautiful three grandchildren and fortunately my parents still which is alot to be greatful for I know but there is this overwhelming longing in me that I just can't seem to extinguish right now. I haven't tried a divorce recovery group yet. Did anyone find that helped them cope? I realize I am good at giving advice but not taking it. This is certainly an exercize in character building. I hope I can rise to the occasion. I guess I'm having a poor me morning so thank you all for allowing me to vent. I really pray for all of us all the time.

Kathleen I spent a yr that way. I would only sleep 3-4 hours and would go all day. I was always active and would get a lot of stuff done. In December with the kids home from school everything changed. I started sleeping more. We would go to sleep late and wake up late. Now I can't seem to get enough sleep. Have you tried moving your bed. Changing it position. Rearrange your room. I did that at first I couldn't sleep but soon my head and body got use to. Try it you never now. Good luck. Sleep will come just wait.

On my days off from work, I slept 15-24 hrs a day & didn't get out off bed when I was awake. This went on for months yet I was still exhausted. My husband was off with his new woman, going on trips with his boatload of $ & I was wasting away. Down to 105 & I am 5'7. What the hell was I thinking!!!
~Hang in there. Take benadryl if you have to so you get some rest. Lack of sleep exacerbates depression, which you dont need right now.

Thank you all for your advice about sleeping I will try it all. Hope all are doing something for themselves today. It has to be our time now. You ladies are my life line and I appreciate you so much!