My husband did cheat towards the end but that wasn't the total deal breaker. He had a profile of himself online seeking an affair with other women who were also married!!! Absolute deal breaker!!!! As for looking back regarding communication problems here & there-they existed. Don't be hard on yourself! A therapist gave me a priceless analogy-she said their is a big difference between a handful of sand(marital problems) vs. a great big boulder(infidelity)! Although, I still think the first affair would have been a deal breaker for me. Not acceptable & a road to further problems down the line without any shadow of a doubt! I think many of the women on this site can attest to that as it seems the husbands that had "an affair", actually had many! Despite the "I will never do it again" comments & preying like vultures on our trust & vulerability.
Mine always had female friends. I always trusted him until the last one. He was calling her weekly and emailing her what I felt was inappropriate messages. IE: How much he missed her, how he wanted to spend holidays with her, how he couldn't email because the kids or I was home. I have no hard proof that during the marriage it was more then an emotional affair.
It did cause damage in the trust issue. Final straw was him sending her a e-valentine. Yes there were lots of other issues (mostly his wanting to live in a fantasy world were all is perfect and fun and he had no responsibility, and ALL the sex he wanted.
Sure made it easier for him to leave knowing there was someone who would let him have his cake and eat it too.
The Flea had affairs since I can remember. Of course I stayed with him. I think I was the stupid wife we all see in the movies that forget and keeps showing happy face to every one. I would alway pretend I was happy, my kids learned to pretend they were happy. Now I hear their laughter and see their happiness. The answer to your question is yes that is what ended my marriage. He apparently only needed a family when thing ended with his then girlfriend.
My ex cheated only 2 yrs into our 15 year marriage. I took him back as he said he loved me. However he never helped me get over episode. I always carried that in me and it festered for years. If he would have helped me talk it out maybe things could have gotten better.
Yes he did. The first time was when we were engaged, I never suspected a thing. He came right out and told me. I should have ended it then. Twenty three years later, I worked third shift but feel to good so I came home early. His keys and wallet were right where he always kept them. I took our dog outside and decided to sleep on the couch so I wouldn't wake him. I walked up the steps to grab a blanket and to my surprise he was in our marital bed with another woman having sex. I pulled her off my bed butt naked annd threw her against the wall. She yelled for my ex to help her and he did. He put me in a wrestling hold why she grabbed her clothes and ran out of my house.
My God what a story. I hope that is when you kicked him out as well!!!!!! If he had to do something like that why in your bed? That is certainly rubbing salt in your wounds. Are you now divorced? I guess my story pales in comparison to that!!!! God be with you. I pray you will find someone else who is actually worthy of you. I hope you made him pay for that! Just know we are all here for each other.
My stbx was a continual flirt with every woman everywhere...except me. To the point it embarrassed our girls. He had emotional affairs during our marriage. Many I believe. Once almost ended it at 17 years. He also went on a website to find someone to screw. It was never enough for him. He began cheating 2 to 4 months before he left. His desire for the new and exciting that he found cheating led to the divorce.