Hello to the forum. Don't know where to start. Parent to two boys, 11 and 12, younger has severe developmental disabilities and is nonverbal. Husband has been abusive to me for several years but in recent week has "kidnapped" 12 yo son within our own home, turning him against me to an extreme that my son will not see me as human being, yells at me, ridicules me, stands side by side with his father. I don't feel like I can go on anymore. Husband has always been abusive to me more or less but my relationship with son was very close and wonderful and loving. Now I do not feel he even loves me. I do have a therapist and am trying to get husband to move out so that I can get divorce without filing a protective order in family court. Small rural town, conservative judges, other reasons as well why this not great option. I'm still able to take good care of younger son but if feels like my heart is broken in two. I've never felt so much pain in my 50 years. Any help or support on how to emotionally cope would really be appreciated. Thank you very much.
I am so sorry you are going through this. Your husband sounds like a master manipulator (?) and has worked on getting your son to turn against you. I am hoping that your son will see what his father has done and will realize that you are not the bad guy.
All I can say is keep your chin pu and stay the good mom to your son even when he is being hateful and he will figure it out.
My prayers are with you. Try and stay strong and do what ever it is you have to to protect your self and your sons.
I am glad you have a therapist; use all of the resources you can. So many judges, official are ignorant about abuse....the global stats: 1 in 3 women abused and every 9 seconds a woman is assaulted.
Call a women's shelter, abuse hotline, social worker at a hospital, etc.......your therapist I am sure, must have resources, places to call.
you should also (your therapist should be trained in this) have an emergency plan. Have a bag with important papers, clothes, cash, etc.......Stay in touch.
Thank you very much, Alice. It is so humiliating to have the resources but somehow be emotionally paralyzed from accessing them. It is helpful (but sad) to hear that you stayed 31 years. Thank you for the ideas and support.
Carla, I have a son with autism and right now my husband is on a trip for 2 weeks to be with the OW in another state. He is due home tomorrow and I have no idea what is next.
I think you should look for a woman's abuse hotline or shelter to get the help you need. There are resources out there, but you have to keep looking for them even when it looks like you've reached a dead end with one agency or another. This is what's happened to me but I keep finding new resources and help. It has not been easy and I am a basket case much of the time, but I keep going. It's all I can do.
Lonelyone, I am so sad to read about your situation. Please keep me posted and let me know if I can be of any support, especially since we have the autism issue in common. I will be thinking of you. I hope you have friends and resources to help you.
PS - is there any way to sign up for email alerts when someone responds to a post? thanks!
Your will see in the end how his father is manipulating him. Just love him and let him be. My son kept his father secrets for 6 months when he could not hold them in anymore he talked and talked for hours telling me everything his father had told him. So hold on the day will come when your son will see his father for who he is. Stay strong.
Carla, that makes three of us living with the issues of autism. My beautiful baby granddaughter who is to be 4 on Sunday is autistic. I am very involved with her care. I stay with the therapist who is there 3hrs every morning Mon-Fri. I then take her to her autism clinic everyday Mon-Fri. I work with her endlessly trying to help her develope speech. I prepare her special drink ( she has terrible eating issues) I puree Fruits, vegs ,yogurt, avocados, black beans and tofu and make it into a shake by adding some ice cream. It is alot of work to steam all the vegs ect. but it is a labor of love for sure. I want to let you know that there are good men out there who will not abandon these disabled children. My son-in-law is driven to help his child get better. He is a defense attorney very stressful job!!! He insists on picking up the baby from her clinic so he can stay on top of her care and status. He comes home and works with her all evening. He gets up with her in the night.(She also has sleeping issues) So girls do not give up hope there are good men who will love and care for these special little people. Sorry if I went on and on. We have so much which bonds us together. Thank you for all the wise words and support.