Did he actually come right out and say his affair was over? I hope you're not reading something into this that isn't the case! I know how much you want your husband and your life back. It really hurts doesn't it. Why do you have to sell your house? If it is paid for I'd really not jump into anything. My home is paid for and I would never give it up. Think about having to pay rent forever! Is it in such bad repair you couldn't live there? I would really think hard about it before you do it. I know change is very hard for the autistic. Would you actually be able to live somewhere else and afford it? He would have to pay you spousal support and if your son is a minor child support. You mentioned the house as part of the problem between you. He got to live in it. It was your's. He had money to run away and stay two weeks with the OW. Why couldn't that money have gone into the home where his disabled son lives????????????? Alot of times the defective gene is with the father as is the case with my granddaughter. Your son most likely got it from your husband and now he is abandoning him. I'm sorry but I still can't get it out of my head that he would do this to your boy!!!!!! These special kids have so much in life to deal with as it is so why why why would anyone let alone his "Father" hurt him this way. Someday he will stand before God and have to explain this!!!!!!! Forgive my rant but you are so special and your words give so much to us ladies on this site. He is a dam- idiot!!!!!!! I also am so worried about your heart. I have no respect as it is for your husband to have done this to you and his son and I am concerned about his motives. He has peace what about your peace what about your son's peace where is that? Be strong please. We need you to be OK. You do realize things will never ever be the same but maybe that would be a good thing when you think about it. If he does want to come back and be a man for his family he has to be certain he is back for good and no more affairs!!!!! You have already suffered so much in this nightmare he brought on you. I could see little lights of hope in your post. Use that strength to make sure this is going to be OK for both you and your son. I believe we each contribute in some fashion to problems in our marriage. But the difference is how we try to fix the problems. Most of these men weren't even willing to try my husband included. We ladies were willing to do anything to fix the problems. Please let us know as we are all concerned about you!!!!! I will say an extra prayer for you Lonelyone that finally you will be respected and happy.
Be careful, once you let him back in the house it is going to be hard to get rid of him..you will be living together yet apart until it is settled in court. He left so have every right to tell him he can't come back and that he needs to stay at a hotel.
I would be a bit skeptical about your husbands intentions. Perhaps the OW left him. He seems emotionally detached from your son's feelings as well as yours. I question whether he deserves your loyalty. He's at Peace, well good for him!!! How about the trail of disrespect, infidelity & abandonment. He certainly didn't think about your peace of mind.
I hope you can really focus on yourself & do anything & everything that will contribute to your sense of self as a strong, confident woman.
LonelyOne you are in my prayers more than ever. I feel that I know you and understand you so well. Your last comment about the pain of living under the same roof with him as roommates being too painful to bear has come from my mouth so many times. I will be with you in spirit tomorrow when he returns, I have been in your shoes 7 times, waiting hopefully for my much loved husband's return, and it will soon be 8 times. I will pray for the return you want, for all to go well. Be careful LonelyOne, I have learned that sometimes when we hope so much it is so very easy to misread anything. But I have also learned that sometimes what we think we see is real.