Let the guilt go. (Easier said than done.) We do what we think is best at the time. You can look your kids in the eye and tell them you did EVERYTHING you could to make it work. You will never have to have the thoughts of 'if only I had done this', 'If only I had done that', 'What if'. I, too, should have ended things 6 years ago, but I did what I thought was best at the time. Hang in there.

Thanks Becky. Im trying. Its just so hard. I thought I would be with him forever and he is turned into a monster I dont even recognize. And the kids are a little messed up but thank God they hate him too. If they were as much of a wreck as I am I just wouldnt be able to deal, well as well as I am which isnt saying much.

Lassrynn I felt the same way when I threw the flea out. I thought what had I done, my kids are going to need him(actually my son) what is he going to do without a father in the house. Then my son started to find out that some of his friends live around here. We never knew, one night while we were out for a walk we found some of his friends and my son invited them to the house he told them "YOU CAN COME TO MY HOUSE NOW, MY DAD DOESN'T LIVE WITH US ANYMORE, NOW I CAN HAVE FRIENDS OVER" That night I stopped thinking what will my son do without a father in the house. I knew my kids and I would be ok. Don't get me wrong we all have tough days and nights, but we make the best out of them. Don't dwell on the good time you had with the EX look at the things you are doing different now with out him. Things you would of never done because you are with him.

You know you are right. He was such a pain the kids dont even miss him. They are happy he is gone. Im the only one who is hurt. But I am glad they are ok with it. If they were hurting too I dont know what I would do. We actually can go out to eat now and do things he wouldnt allow. Like going to the movies. Thank you. You are right. I need to redirect my thinking.