I've been feeling all mixxed emotions. Some days I'm glad I'm doing this. Other days I feel sorrow and pain and I hurt. Do I love the STBX? No. If I stay will my life change? No. But why am I so scared when I have a huge support system of friends and family? It's like 6 years. I cant bring them back. I cant change them. But I know I can change the future and be happy. He isnt a bad man. By all means he isnt bad to me but he just doesnt care about me - all he cares about is himself. Still, I hurt today thinking about it. I hate to be in the same room as him. I wish he'd work all day and all night until I leave as I hate being near him. I have no passion, no love, no lust, nothing for him. We are roommates. That's it. I'm over it. But still, it hurts. Thanks for listening. Somedays I feel like I'm losing it..and today is one of those days.

OMG. It's like you read my mind and put into words. I know how that feels. Except mines let's it be known that I am not wanted here. How I stay strong idk everyday is a struggle and every fight is a battle.
Thanks for your post.

Its hard. It a complete change of life and it hurts. But if your STBX is like my STBX then I think you will be relieved. I was so hurt and so scared. But I am finally starting to see how nice this is. I am scared to death about the final divorce, what I will probably get ripped off on, but this is good. Almost 7 weeks since my stbx left and I am finally starting to let go of the fear and hurt. Angry? Hell yes I am angry as hell. But at least the severe hurt is considerably less. You definately want to be happy. I thought if he came back I would be so relieved. Now I dont want him back. Even if he wants to work things out, I no longer want to. I am not going to let him hurt me anymore. We all deserve to be happy. I think you are doing the right thing.

I have felt, and still do feel the exact same way. We too were reduced to being just roommates. We hadnt had sex for a year and a half before I left, and didnt even speak unless it was about our son. I hated hearing his truck drive up the street. Hurt me because instead of thinking "yay...he's home!", I was thinking "great...here we go...whats gonna happen now?".

Although leaving the marriage is right...and we know that and are ok with it...it still hurts. Divorce is similar to a death, and we go though periods of being alright with it and other times of grieving. It's normal...or thats what everyone tells me anyway.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm right there with you...in one of my down moods now. We have to have faith that it is going to get better. Its a process that we have to work through...allow ourselves to feel what we feel...acknowledge those feelings...so that we can let them go.

Were all doing fine and were going to get through this.