27yrs old 5months preg high risk have 20 month old 7 month old and 47yrs old husband. been married for 6 years i cant work at this time my husband works part time. wont help me with any house work or the kids. i just got out of hospital and he left to party all night with friends been happening for months now i am starting to feel hate for him but at the same time i love him i am so confused.
It is confusing. You love them even though they treat you like crap. My STBX is selfish like that too. Do you have any family or friends that could come help with the chores or kids and give you a break? And yes, your feelings are normal. Its hard not to hate them when they have absolutely no respect for us. Hang in there. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well. hugs
Dear Amber, You situation is not hopeless don't ever think it is. Your main concern needs to be your very young children. Do you have a family support system? This is time for you to realize this situation is not tolerable! I think you need to really look at the "man" you are married to. He is supposed to be a responsible father and husband. This is not some young guy who wouldn't have had time to mature yet. This is a man with a really bad character flaws,who is disrespectful, and selfishness. He has shown he can't be counted on when the going gets tuff. He has shown a lack of ability to properly support his family(working only part time) Of course we love all our beautiful babies who bring so much love and joy to us but to continue to make these babies with a man who is clearly not there for you or them may not be the wisest thing to do. You are very young still and could still have more children later with a "good man". It is time to inlist as much help as you can from friends and family. You have 4 more months to go and the safety of your unborn child has to be your priority right now. Just keep that as your main goal in life for the time being. I hate to say anything hurtful but unless something changes this marriage is certainly doomed! Just take great care of yourself and have a safe delivery and a healthy baby. After that make your plans. Prepare yourself for the worst case senario. This is not the kind of life you want yourself or your children to experience. Find the strength inside yourself to do the right thing. Many of us on this site have had to do this broken heart or not. I will certainly pray for you and your children. Keep us posted please.
You are the only one who can decide what you want to do with your situation and your life. Right now, listen to Lassrynn's and Kathleen's good advice for asking help from family, friends, government or private organizations; your children and your unborn child are your priority now. After your delivery and everything is all right, you will decide what you really want to do; you can depend on yourself only to make you happy, and you always have a choice. Best wishes and good luck with your pregnancy and delivery.
"To Our Inner Peace!"
Mai Bordelon
The Coach for Divorced Women
http://lifecoachingcorner.com
Free Special Report "Fabulous Life After Divorce"
http://facebook.com/theissuecoach1
http://twitter.com/maibordelon
Oh gosh Amber! I do hope you have someone to help you if your husband isnt. You dont need this right now. Please try to take care of yourself!
Speaking from my own personal experience, if this is what your husband is doing now Amber, chances are it may not change. I say "may" because there is always a chance that things can get better, but I think in most cases it doesnt.
He sounds alot like my ex. I worked full-time...was gone 12 hours a day, had a baby, took care of the house, laundry, shopping, cooking, bill paying...everything. All I ever saw was his back walking out the door to do what he wanted to. I figured that I was pretty much on my own anyway so what did I need him for.
I hope really hope things turn around for you and those babies Amber.
Things were better for me too. I had a nice apartment and my son and I had our little groove going. It was nice. Now however I lost my job and the apartment, so were living with my brother until I get back on my feet.
Still, not having the ex dragging me down is worth whatever I have to endure.
Same here. Since he has been gone, all around the kids and I are happier, more at peace and not afraid to have a little fun. I also worked fulltime nights while pregnant with my second child. Functioned off of 2 hours of sleep a day because I had to watch our 3 yr old at the time during the day and do all the housework because numbnuts wouldnt help with anything. I did that throughout my entire pregnancy. Its really sad to realize how many insensitive, uncaring heartless selfish jerks are out there. Hugs
Yeah very similar to mine situation. All i could see after work is empty kitchen, and his ass stuck to a chair and the eyes pointing in the direction of playstation plus every month I had to buy him some very expensive gadget otherwise I'd get sielent treatment.
I now have my nice appartment (still half empty) and without him around I do not have to worry whether I pay bills or buy the food. My bills are paid and the food is in the fridge. I'm even able to afford once a month to treat myself to something nice.