I was with my ex 15 years, married for 9. After dealing with years of mental and emotional abuse...him being selfish...a very bad temper that made me afraid...never putting me before himself, I left him. We were separated for 15 months and everything is now done.
I thought I would be so happy after court yesterday..and I am, but I have so many other emotions too. I hate him. I'm angry at him for letting me down. I hate that our 4 year old has to live with divorce because my ex doesnt care about anyone but himself. I hate him because I was so good to him...gave him everything I had...and he just crapped all over it.
I'm also afraid and just plain sad. He's been trying to destroy me since the split. He resents that I left him....like a guy with a bruised ego, and so he lashes out at me every chance he gets. He wouldnt do anything to make things better though! What did he expect was going to happen?
It's just a shame how you can go from loving someone and building a life with them to trying to tear each other up.
I can't wait until mine is finalized. We should be close but I give Jerk a little and he asks for more. Yep, I hate him for all of the reasons you hate yours. I didn't know I was capable of felling these kinds of emotions. I hate that, too. Maybe now that yours is finalized you will be able to heal. Hang in there.
Dear Chris, I think we are grieving the loss of what should have been. Hopefully you will be able to co-parent your child. At four you'll have many many years to have to deal with one in other. Why are we all so blind to the huge bright red flags sticking us right in the middle of our faces when we choose these men? God knows I was certainly guilty of that! I don't want to deal with this pain of divorce. I wish I could just turn of the emotions. I have feel almost manic lately. I have very hard lows and some highs. It is like having our babies. It hurts like hel- but in the end we have given birth to something so wonderful and precious which made the pain all more than worth while. I pray that that is what will happen with the divorce and by suffering the terrible pain I will give birth to a new and wonderful life for myself. This is a learning process for me. I need to do alot of soul searching and change the behaviors I brought to the table which helped with the devastation of my marriage. I found it so hard to stand up to my husband so I allowed my anger and resentment to make me very cold and withdrawing. I just want to be happy in the end and find some peace in all of this. Bravo to all of you fighting the good fight to regain your's and your children's lives.