Is there ever going to be a time when you can look at photos of the jerk and not hurt or get angry over it? I feel like I should get rid of all the ones with him in it but that would be stupid I think. But to see the pictures of him and what I used to think he was, hurts. I look at his face and desperately try to make sense of everything. I hope someday I can look at them without dealing with unpleasant emotions. But I have a feeling the pain and hurt associated with his face will haunt me forever. I dont want him back, I swear. Now that he did this, I would never be comfortable around him again. But I still wish for the good days of the past. I think I will hate him forever for what he has done to the kids and me.

I wonder the same thing. I try so hard to keep positive about my ex for my sons sake, but right now I hate him with everything I have.

I think we will reach that time where we will see them differently, but not for a long time. After everything is said and done, we have moved on and are established in a new life with all of this far behind us, I think it will be better.

I would hate to think that we are going to hold onto this hatred forever. My hope for myself is that one day I will be able to forgive ex. I'll never like him, but by being able to let go of those negative emotions associated with him, I will be able to make peace with what happened and let it go.

Chris, I agree with trying to forgive stbx...I have been told to find that enter peace you have to forgive them...I have already emailed him & told him I will always hate him for what he did to our kids but I forgive him but it is his place to find forgiveness from God...I feel that ate him up more than anything having to get God to forgive him...I have sent him scriptures that tells how God feels about divorces, especially when they are for sexual lust...I try to stay busy & not let my stbx make me miserable the rest of my life...I am determined to move on & watch him be the one to fail & regret what he has done...Good Luck on forgiving your ex, I know it helps with moving on & letting go of the bitterness...

Unlike so many of you I have been unable to find much anger or any hatred toward my husband. I seem to be focused on my sadness and regret. I am still hopeful for us working things out so maybe that is part of it, I don't know. I worry a lot about hating him, it is someplace I never planned to go and still do not want to. But I worry about how I will ever get over this,(if I have to), without that hatred. I certainly agree that it would eventually be good to get over the hate and be able to appreciate the good times we had with our husbands.

I don't know that I would ever want to remember good times with my stbx, but I really hope one day to not be consumed with the emotions. I hope I can heal and have a life and not spend most of my day trying to deal with the pain and the hate and the devastation I feel. It's not been quite 4 months since he left, and the papers are nearly finished, but it seems like a lifetime already. And I am no closer to an end, I swear. Sorry, I having a bad day today. Started off good, but then had to deal with stupid mother in law on phone and it brought me down.

See to me I don't have any good time memories with the flea, all my memories are of him sneaking around my house or at parts to go with big foot or another woman. For me yes I have hatred, and I hate them both, but I also pity them both. I feel so sorry for both of them, right now big foot has the flea by the b*lls. He goes to my sons games and has to be out of there by 8pm or she is already emailing or calling him. What a trust they have. Of course I am enjoying seeing him squirm. Poor pathetic little man.

I hope some day I get to see my stbx squirm. Hes always been in control of everything and is sure as rain that he is going to get away with not having to give me a thing. According to my lawyer, he is in for one hell of a surprise. God I sure hope so. And as for the hatred...idk. I am not a very forgiving person. Every person that I trusted has hurt me, and when I give ppl a second chance I always seem o get burned. I am actually scared to forgive but I hope I can get over it. I will never forgive him but I have been succssful, most days now, to let it go.

I don't think I have a prayer at foregiveness until the papers are signed. Right now Jerk is trying to control so much and is fining ways to hurt me. I feel like I'm still in the middle of it and that I have to be on the other side before I can consider forgiveness. I'm sure I will need to forgive to find inner peace, but I'm a long ways from there!