I went through something simular. He had emotional affairs with all married woman and I was unaware for months, until I sent an email through his email account and I found all these woman. We decided to work on our marriage- he left me a year later. We had a good marriage, he was just in love with someone else, he told me he felt different about her. Her she was shopping for a new husband where she grew-up and happened to find my husband, he took the bait. He denys everything, he says everything is my fault. Today the kids will say he has many gf's.

We(the kids and me) are in our unpaid house for now and he wants his divorce now. I can only imagine why, so many things go through my mind.

For some reason I decided that day to copy all the emails, I have voicemail, I have copied phone bills. I guess maybe I knew that we would not last all though I hoped we did. I loved him, but I could not make him love me.

Now I taking it one day at a time, one step at a time. I am not sure what each day will bring right now, what step I will take today or what step will come next. I do know I try to think of all possibilties and I am trying to do what is best, I am trying to do the best I can.

He asked for the kids half time and I said that is not in the best interest of the children.

My therapist told me that it is not good to have the kids live one week with him and one with me like he wanted. There are more adults that have problems from doing this when they were children.

I have physical custody, the kids reside with me. But we have joint custody. We are both responsible for making decissions regarding the kids.

I feel like maybe someday he will have to deal with me and someone I love. Someone that loves me the way he could not.

I hope some of this was helpful.

Men get away with so much. Your sounds like mine. All he cares about is himself too. Like he moved to Hawaii when we split, or should I say, when he took off has a new car but doesnt want me to have any support from him. He is living very well right now while we struggle. I hope and pry my lawyer will fight for me and the judge will see him for what he truly is. How old is your child (ren) under 18? If you can somehow prove that they are a threat to your child, you might be able to sway the judge. My daughter is 15 and she wants nothing to do with her father. He has hurt us all so badly. I wish you luck. Keep posting. Everyone here is so wonderful. I have recieved a lot of support here. A real life saver. Hugs. And lets pray these jerks get what they deserve...NOTHING!! lol

Thanks.. I feel so alone sometimes and can't believe I lived 22 years with this man. At least I got out.

You can do it. Your ex sounds a lot like mine. I wished that I never had to deal with my ex or the OW ever again, but I knew that my boys needed their father. He lives with his girlfriend who got divorced as well to be with him. It was hard at first having to deal with how he cheated, lied, and hurt me in every way he could, knowing I loved him up until the very end of it all, but as time moves on and you heal from the heartbreak you will find that you will feel Neutral, you will not love him and you may not even hate him. He will not matter so there will be nothing much to hate. It is hard to imagine that someone you loved, married and had a family with will eventually be looked upon as just another person in your life, but it happens. Slowly and with time "it really happens". I never would have believed I would ever fall out of love with my ex, but I did, I sometimes find myself falling out of like at times as well, but I don't even have the passion for him to hate him either. He just IS and that is it. What we had is DEAD, gone, and there may be a moment here or there a memory may come to mind, but he destroyed anything we ever had and it is finally over. I am at peace knowing I did not deserve the way he treated me and his girlfriend is more than welcome to him. I have better things to think about. I promise it will happen to you in time as well. I really do not talk or deal with his girlfriend, that is someone in his life and in my boys lives when they are with them. The secret is that I already know what she is in for with my ex. He can fool himself and her as well all he wants. He'll never change. I am proof that there is healing after divorce.
You will feel whole again in time.
Susan

Thats good to know. It has only been 7 weeks for me and I already am feeling better about this mess. I am just tryong to focus and me and the kids and in the back of my mind praying that I hurt him where it really hurts...his wallet. He is the most materialistic person I have ever known. All I evr wanted from him was love, but his idea of love is how much he possesses.

Thank you so much. I feel like life will never be normal again. You give me hope and I appreciate it!