Is it easier to relocate before or after divorce decree. The divorce has not yet been finalized, I have primary custody, there is a good job prospect on the table out of state. I have not been able to find a job for the last 2yrs. Should I wait till the divorce is finalized or would that be more complicated?

I would say go if your able as soon as possible...I plan on moving out of state the minute my divorce is final...Right now I have been awarded the house, him paying the house note plus electric bills & it is eating him up & is the only leverage I have over him but it is not worth my happiness once the divorce is final to stay here because he is such a bs he loves thinking two women are fighting over him...One for his money & me only to save my marriage but no more so his ego can go to hell...And when he finally wakes up to reality it will be to late for him...

Thanks for the encouragement. The man has cheated lied and hurt me and our children badly. I want nothing to do with him. He is very controlling and I know he's going to pitch a fit. In the end I have to do what is best for me and the kids, not for this egotistic maniac who wants to keep us near so he can be near his girlfriends.

I would check with your lawyer first, just to be on the safe side. As much as it would be great just to leave like that, it would be horrible if it came back to haunt you. If this doesn't affect anything, go it would be best for you and your kids.

I'm trying to relocate right now also. Same reason a much better job.

A friend told me I should have left before I got the divorce papers. She told me it would have been easier to ask for forgiveness when I got there.

I did not go, I was scared that they would have taken the kids away when I got there.

Well it has been almost a year and he is still ssying no we can not relocate. It does not matter that we are living in poverty here.

It will be another year before trial if he still denies us to relocate if we can not come to an agreement by next month before pretrial.

I told his lawyer and him that I am asking for more money if he denies us the right for a better life.

I realize these men don't really care that much about the well being of their own children. If they were really men they would see to it that their children enjoy the same standard of living that they themselves enjoy. I would not make a move without clearing it first with your attorney! There are laws which govern this and you would not want to assume and yes maybe have them accuse you of child stealing. I think this is way to serious a matter not to be 100% clear of what you can and can not do. Maybe you could use the money as a leverage? I can't believe this goes on day in day out where a man and yes there are also women who abandon their children. They should at least wait until the kids are grown. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. BE SURE BEFORE YOU ACT ON THIS!

Thats what I dont understand either. I practically begged my stbx to just come back for the last 2 months of shool since his leaving had greatly upset my daughter. Totally unwilling. Why the heck would he leave Hawaii to help his daughter get through the school year. Ahole. And I agree with you. He could have waited 2 years until both kids were out of the house. He is too selfish to think of anyone but himself.