Beth I am sorry you are going through this, He is alienating you from your kids, have you tried going to court? Look for an attorney, tell your story, all you really wanted was respect and your kids have to understand. Keep sending them emails and call them every minute you can. Try to make them understand You love them. Good luck and keep us posted, I hope your sons soon see that you love them and miss you.

Thank you. Unfortunately, they are 22 and 26. The courts cannot do anything for me.

Let me tell you a story, when me and the flea(ex) got married he was always at mommy's house, we would do whatever mommy wanted, the years past and he grew apart from his mommy to the point where I became their daughter and he was just another person around. He would not visit or call. Anything they wanted from him they would call me, he would get so mad because they would come visit him or call him, he had no time for them. Fast forward to the divorce, he is back at mommy's house and talking to them and doing anything and everything they want him to do. The idea is your son's right now think they don't need you. they have their father to keep them company to take care of them, wait for some thing that will change their life and then you will see they will need you and want you in their lives. Be patient and keep calling and keep emailing. Don't give up. It might not happen today or tomorrow but it will happen. Hang in there and you will see. Be strong and continue to look for them. Keep us post and take care.

Thank you for your wisdom, Ladyrb. My sons have their Dad and he also has the money. I always email both of them that I love them unconditionally.

My mother-in-law left my father-in-law about 7 years ago. She was emotionally abused and I know of one incident of physical abuse. (I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.) Of course this was all hush hush in the family, so I don't know a lot about it. My stbx and his brother are the only kids. They idolize their father. I don't know why. Their mother has been on anti-depressants on and off during the marriage and I have only known her to be a bit looney, for lack of better words. When she left she was secretive and the kids were BITTER! I now better understand what was going on and why she did things the way she did them. She is more sane each and every day she is away from him.

To get to the point, the one that I hope will give you hope, my stbx and his brother did not have much communication with her following the divorce. However, she has continued to contact them, has continued to invite them to family gatherings, has continued to send them birthday cards, etc. They are now rebuilding their relationship. I won't kid you, it is a slow road, but I'm hoping that it gives you a little hope that your sons, too, will see in time that you did what you needed to do.

Dear Beth, Your comment their Dad has the money is just the reason my grandson choose to stay with his Dad instead of his mother. My daughter was never married to his Dad whom makes well over a million a year. This lavish life style is probley why my daughter stayed 14 years in a very mentally abusive and sometimes physically abusive relationship. However my grandson ended up living with me three fourths of the time. I am certainly not an expert but have you tried telling them something about abuse? Have you thought about maybe telling them you regret how you handled the situation when they called you names. That you were so hurt by them that you could not bear to put up with the same thing from them that you suffered through with their Dad. I also believe someday they will come to you. I would never, ever stop trying to contact them. Make it part of your life. I am only concerned that they to will treat their wife the way they have seen their male role model treat you. This will only lead to their unhappiness. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayer.

Dear Kathleen and Becky,

Thank you for your posts. I will never give up on my sons no matter what. I have faith in God and He knows my heart. The money situation is so lopsided. My ex is an executive and I am starting all over going back to college. Since I have left the abuse, it has been a rollercoaster rides with alot of guilt and shame but I can honestly say even if it is hard, I am in the light not the darkness. I was in a fish bowl with muddy, mirky water and now it is clear as the blue sea. Honestly, I did the right thing leaving. I, too, had to sneak out of my home when I left him because I would of been hurt. Thank you for your prayers, it means the world to me.

My gosh Beth...thats awful. I too will pray that this will turn around for you, as its hurting everyone involved. No winners in a situation like that.

Thanks, Chris. My ex thinks he is winning by showing my sons what an example of a father and husband is but in the worse way. He thinks the motive is to hurt and destroy me but little does he know that God knows my heart.