Dear Gerbillina, My grandson's father is an absolute jerk. My older daughter (who just happens to be a lawyer and I have to deal with him because my other daughter (grandson's mom just can't!) I am alot like you I get so angry with him and I go crazy! My daughter on the other hand knows just how to work him by playing into his egomanic, socialpathic self. She beats him at his own manipulative game. My grandson is attending a top university mainly on a scholarship but we need his dad to help him financially. He is very controlling regarding this. Example he would not help pay for a Hong Kong trip through the university because he felt my grandson wasn't paying enough attention to him. I want crazy and told him "Get your own life he has school work to do and can't spend all his time telling you what a great dad you are and by the way your not!" My point in all this is that my daughter always has the last laugh and he doesn't even know it. She delights in putting one over on him. Maybe if you could play the game oh your so great then I need this and I need that you would also get the last laugh. Then you could delight in how stupid he actually is. Just a thought. It's really bad when you have to beg to get the things his child needs. Just know in the end you are going to come out the winner not him.

My dad is so good with these things, too. Me? I'm a wear-your-emotions-on-your-sleeve-and-spout-out-the-first-thing-that-comes-to-mind kind of person. I wish I were more like him, and I do try to learn from him. He can tell someone to go to he!! and they'll walk away thanking him.

Oh, I'm one of those too, heart on my sleeve and logic out the window if I'm really pi$$ed off.

If I'm the one attacking, though, better look out - WK once told me that I could cut someone off at the knees with my tongue and my wit and they wouldn't know it had happened til they fell over!

I have called the flea every name in the book, just like he has. At first I would apologize but now it gets old. If I don't say please 10-15 times he says I am talking to him the wrong way. I am tired of kissing his ass, and I have told him so. So I would not apologize. Just tell to me a father and take care of his responsibilities. I know I get really emotional. Sorry.

I too am a "wear my emotions on my sleeve" kind of person. I can hold in my emotions for some time but once I start I can't stop and usually say something that is very hurtful ( but true) to my ex. Just this weekend I got into it with my ex because he once again called to say he was going to be over 2 hours late for pick up. I get so tired of him just expecting me to change my plans because of him. I had enough of it this week. I gave it to him tenfold. It never matters anyhow because he does what he wants and doesn't care that he is being unfair to me or to the kids. I get blamed for it all..I have learned that it is not worth my time or my energy. I refuse to say "I'm sorry' to him. Why should I when he is the one in the wrong(most of the time)?
I do refrain from conflict around the kids, it's not fair to them. But boy oh boy if I don't give it to him when they are not around.