I too am a "wear my emotions on my sleeve" kind of person. I can hold in my emotions for some time but once I start I can't stop and usually say something that is very hurtful ( but true) to my ex. Just this weekend I got into it with my ex because he once again called to say he was going to be over 2 hours late for pick up. I get so tired of him just expecting me to change my plans because of him. I had enough of it this week. I gave it to him tenfold. It never matters anyhow because he does what he wants and doesn't care that he is being unfair to me or to the kids. I get blamed for it all..I have learned that it is not worth my time or my energy. I refuse to say "I'm sorry' to him. Why should I when he is the one in the wrong(most of the time)?
I do refrain from conflict around the kids, it's not fair to them. But boy oh boy if I don't give it to him when they are not around.