Alot of what everyone says makes sense. The email system did not work for me, I addressed concerns and he claims that I am attacking him. Now if I can not say it in less then a dozen words I do not bother and that is just information he needs to know.

My oldest will be 13 this year and the courts want to know what they want. My other child is close behind butr not quite. They will not seperate, seperate visits even if the courts grant my oldest to do so. The oldest will always be there for the youngest because of the problems that the youngest has experienced with him. I wish the courts to consider both the children and what they want.
They want a relationship with their father, but they do not want to be forced. They do not want their father have to so much control over everything due to their poor relationship- they feel they are not being heard, that they are being forced and that he makes poor decisions, that he can not take care of them, that he says all the problems are not his they are my childrens fault and my fault.

I have to keep my line of communication open with the children, even on the hardest days, their hard days and my hard days. I will continue to seek help for people that can help because I can not.

Someday this will pass and I do not want them to think that they can not come to me, that it is to hard, that it is not worth it. I want them to be okay and maybe think that this time was hard but we got through it.

We don't get to say bad things about their dad, but we don't have to defend or protect them, either. I tell my kids that sometimes grown ups don't make smart choices. I even go so far as to discuss with them what a better choice here would have been. How are they going to learn right from wrong otherwise? I tell them their dad loves them. I tell them they are my whole world, and I tell them when things are out of my control and apologize for their pain. It totally stinks!