I felt this way as well at the beginning of my divorce, but what hurt me the most was not my own pain, but having to deal with the pain of my oldest son who was just about 9 yrs. old at the time. He would curl up in a ball in a chair or on the floor and cry, Mommy, mommy, my chest hurts and I think my heart is breaking, I can't breath, I can't stop it. My ex never saw my son do this, he never knew all the pain he caused others. He just figured in time everyone was just going to "get over it" were his exact words. I will never forget what my kids went through and my ex will never understand because they did not want to push their father farther away with anything negative they felt. My other son was 7 and he is more of a child where he gets angry, has fits and then gets over something quickly. I know your pain, my children know your pain and anyone who has someone that does this to you knows your pain as well. Yes, I really believe these men are heartless because their selfishness never allows them to see the pain they cause.
Hang in there, healing does come, sometimes slowly, but it comes.
Susan
Im so sorry to hear about your son, I have a daughter the same age and I know they know and have been damaged, but are seriously repressing it and sadly, I dont feel I could help them during a breakdown when I cant seem to help myself, probably just cry right along with them, so I applaude you, That scenairo would destroy me. Im 30, when I was young I couldnt understand women that dispised the opposite sex, and I know its not healthy to feel this way,but I dont really see the benefit of dedicating 12 years to a marriage. Thank you for your honest post and I am a mother too, so I know seeing your child hurting like that hurt you 100Xs more. Your lucky in that you have sons, with a strong mother they will develop healthy relationships with women in the future. Your husband may not know the hurt now, but eventually he will have to pay his dues.
Thanks for your post