I am 32 years old and I have been married for almost 7 years but the more time that goes by more more anxious I become at getting out of my marriage. Although he is a decent guy over the years we have just continued to grow apart and so has my love for him. I have started save money back into a separate account and I am trying to get my schooling done and in the meantime see how things are going to go between us before I say anything to him. We have no children. I guess I am scared of going through a divorce because of the uncertanity of what it going to happen. Noone has done any wrong its just that the "feeling" isn't there anymore. Any advice?
If the feeling you are talking about is the stars in the eyes feeling of new love, I think that almost always fades away with time. But that does not mean the marriage is over. You can work on keeping things alive and exciting. "Date" your husband, try new things together, keep talking about anything and everything, go away for a sexy weekend once in awhile. A long term relationship has many things that can far outweigh that "new" feeling. Shared memories, a history together, pride in accomplishments you made as a couple, the feeling that you can rely on each other no matter what. These things are priceless and have to come from time spent together.
I am in your boat right now! My husband and I grew apart but we can't fix what's broken. He wont talk to me about anything, he wont go to counceling or a priest. Sometimes, people are better off alone. I dont know your situation but I know that if he isnt willing to talk or try to change then maybe it's time to walk away. I dont love my STBX anylonger and I dont want to live a life that means nothing to me or is at a dead end. God gave me a life to live and I'm going to start living again, and alone. Scary but things will work out. Stay strong and stay positive.
A reporter once asked the comedian George Burns how he kept his marriage to Gracie together for so long and he said, we never fell out of love at the same time. One of us was always in love enough to the keep the marriage going. Maybe your husband will carry your marriage until you fall back in love again.
Each person has to follow their own path and I have no judgement on anyone. But I do wish my husband had meant his weddding vowels - for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health until death do us part. This is one of those "worst moments' and I wish he had more staying power.
Have you considered counseling...or are you even interested in that? Adding on to what someone else said, things do tend to get boring and couples do get into ruts along the way. I was married for 9 years and we had our share of ups and downs once the "honeymoon" was over. I dont know if maybe this is what is happening and maybe you just need to find a way to reconnect, or if you just feel that the marriage is dead.
I too was scared to death of leaving...being on my own, having to fend for myself. It turned out to be just fine though. Don't be afraid of leaving...you can survive on your own.
If you're nervous more about the divorce process itself, well...it is hard regardless if its amicable or not. That being said, if wanting a divorce is what you want than you will do what you have to do to be free. It wont be easy, but dont be afraid. Mine was a mess, but in the end it was worth what I had to go through.