Dear Mrs. Miller, Only you can make this decision. I speaking for myself would stay put. The quality of your childs life is at stake here. Do you have family you can go to? I don't know if you have friends or family where you are now? Is your husband still living with you? How long would a divorce take normally where you are? I live in CA and it's 6 months. Could your husband be suffering from ptsd? I believe you said your child was autistic. Did you tell the legal dept that? Do you have any job skills? I would take time to think this through and decide what options you have. Believe me he is going to pay child support till the child is at least 18 years old. Is there any hope he might come around and not want to leave you? How are you doing as far as emotionally? You do sound really strong to me which is a good thing. Just take your time so you can make the best decision for yourself and your child. Don't listen to him! He is going to tell you what he wants you to think will happen. Our prayers are with you.
What do you think would be better for you and your child? Can you live with him for that long? Those are the question you need to ask yourself. Also how is your support system, Think things through before you leave, remember you have a child to take care of.
I feel for you. You will need to be strong like marble- & start thinking of him as a tiny chisel that will continuously pick away at you...Sounds bad, but most will agree.
If it were me, I'd do what was best for my own frame of mind. Your child needs you to be well. I left & took only child support (which is enough to buy almost the groceries each week). I work hard, and some days feel very long- but I have my kids & they are awesome (I hadn't worked in 10 years & am now 50- so it's doable). It was the best thing I ever did.
If you can afford it- leave if you must. If you can hold out without going mental- you may get some money out of it.
Guess it's more, what can you handle & for how long?
All I can say is that I gave in and it came back to bite me in the butt very hard. I'm now paying (literally) the consequences of my mistake. It seemed so easy at the time to say I'm just going to cut my losses, chalk him up to being a jerk, and do what I had to do to be rid of him ASAP.
If you have it in you, and you are within your right, I would say to fight for everything you have coming to you. Once you are on your own its going to be hard...if your situation is like mine anyway.
Be careful, Mrs. Miller. Your soon to be ex is a military man..a person trained in the army.
However, you have to look after your son and yourself now. My lawyer told me to take everything that is legally mine because she said I am the guardian...or looking after the trust for my kids. If you think of it like that, then you can go after the child support properly. What trustee would be negligent in not accepting child support for their young?
I also was urged by my lawyer to go for alimony too...which I wasn't going to do...but as it turned out, I was really thankful that I got that too.
I am thankful that I did accept all because I hear other ladies who didn't and it came back to haunt them.
...but I also don't want you hurt if he goes berserk. It's a fine line so take care and get proper legal advice.