My ex is calling and making comments about how he still cares for me. I'm trying to figure out what does that mean? I don't want him to ask to come back because I don't trust him anymore.
Do you still love him? Have you gotten through the hurt yet? If he is not a good man who just made a stupid mistake then run for your life. You have come so far. What would you do if he asked to come back. Do you just not want to have that option to consider? Are there children involved? I guess this is 20 questions. You have to do what you feel is best for yourself in the long run. If you don't think he is 100% committed to making things right it may not be a good thing to consider. Let us know how you are doing through all this. You have a lot of sisters here.
Yes I agree with Kathleen. I think it depends on if he was a good person overall or not and how you feel. Sounds like you have a difficult decision to make.
My ex used that on me also. He even cried and told me he missed me and wanted us to be "friends" with b enifits. He even asked me if I wanted to travel with him sometimes for his work. But, he was living with the slut that he cheated with. She was sending me text messages telling me I needed help and that he was hers now and I needed to back away. He was using me, using her and convincing him self that he was the only good one in the whole mess. He has lied so much to so many I truly don't think he can tell the difference anymore. Now that I turned him in and told his slut that he was cheating on her and telling her a pack of lies he wants nothing to do with me. He can not and will not take responsibility for anything he has done.
You are the only one that can decide if taking him back is the right thing to do. You are the only one that will know if he is still trying to use you.
Good luck and take care of yourself.
Bridget
The same thing here...my STBX called to apologize a little over a week ago, then called to say that he cared about me and wants me to be happy...even if we didn't have 4 kids, he would still want to help me. Well, just found some info that shows he is still trying to get back with the college girl he cheated on me with. Men who cheat are liars. Period. They will say and do anything to make themselves feel better, look better...not be the "bad guy". I have finally hit the point that I am ready to move forward with divorce...I need him out of my life.
Dear Terrel, My God four kids. You'll own him before this is through. Do this smart. It is so painful to be betrayed like that. Get a lawyer now. I admire you for being welling to take the next step. Let's see how helpful he plans on being when he gets hit with the divorce. Put on the gloves because your going to need them. What is wrong with that college girlfriend to break up a family with four kids. Unfortunately if not her it would have been someone else. Protect yourself and your babies. Try and have a happy Easter. This site is very helpful so post as often as you feel like it. There is a wealth of support here!
Depending on the type of guy your ex truly is, his apologies could be sincere or they could be complete crap. Follow your intuition on this one. My ex begged and pleaded and told me had had changed and less than a week later he continued his destructive behaviors that drove me away in the first place. They don't change for you, they change for themselves and typically they don't think there is anything wrong with themselves to begin with so.....just be smart and be safe.