When Jerk first left I had to set the ground rules for his visitations here: He can't come unless he calls first, visitation is arranged through me not through his children, he must knock and wait for someone to answer the door, etc. I can say I'm OK with them staying here if he has a limited amount of time for a visit, AS LONG AS he respects my space. If it were all of the time, I wouldn't be OK with it, but a few times a month isn't so bad. I can see where you do need a break. You can learn to run errands, pay bills, take a nap, etc., when he has his visitations. Keep us posted.