Dear Gerbillina, I remember you being so distraught and hurt by what happened with your stbx. Do you think the fact that someone new came into your life helped you get over that in a short time? I wasn't going to consider dating until my divorce was final however my husband has acted so cold and I really don't think there is any hope any longer to salvage this marriage. I have a mutual friend that wants me to meet a man she thinks sounds wonderful and not bad looking. His wife cheated on him with his best friend and they divorced. She married the best friend. This man is two years older than I am but is supposed to look very much younger and feels young and acts young. I don't even know if he would like me or I him but I am considering taking a chance to at least meet him. I believe he might have been divorced at least a couple of years now so is way ahead of me in the process. My husband is still in my household right now so that would be complicated as well. He actually lives in Idaho and I live in Ca. He is here visiting his children but is considering relocating back to Ca. I am so dam- lonely even though my husband is here. I need something to help me get over the pain! I am really torn on this. If my husband showed any interest in saving our marriage of course I would not consider it. Even though I filed the divorce. I can never ever go back to the way things were! I have offered marriage counseling and have tried to open some line of communication to no avail. The only conversation we had was very brief and basically a fight. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life!!!
It took 8mos of being on my own before I began venturing out, and it was odd too. It feels so good though once we can begin allowing ourselves to enjoy and have a good time again. We deserve it!
Glad to hear it Teresa. It is a slow process, but it does come over time. I know that I am finally having moments of pure enjoyment with my girls with my friends and with my new friends I have met at church. And the fact that the girls won't talk to their dad at this point, and it's driving him nuts is something that makes me smile, too. Not nice, I know, but his choice is giving him consequences.
Dear Kathleen.
I wouldn't say I'm moving on so quickly because I met someone. Having someone in your life does help a lot.
Let me tell you what happened. Few weeks ago I was invited to go to my friend's daughter's christening... And here I am sitting in this little church with my son, listening to the pastor. But when his wife started to preach, it seemed as my eyes opened. She was talkig about the familly, and how those people we love the most might hurt us and will never care, but it God still there for us. And at that moment I thought, I have achieved so much without my husband, and with him all I had is disrespect, humiliation, lies and if he really got angry he would hit me.
So looking back I decided I did not want this man back, I am better off without him....
And surprisingly, the following day I met up with this man, and we clicked immediately.
So far it is going quite well at the moment, but I am not hoping for nothing more.
So to answer your question Kathleen, I would say having somebody in your life, who would make you feel good about yourself, is great. But before you meet this man you do need to realise that you are better off without your ex, that you deserve someone better in your life, someone who will RESPECT you. And most important you have to start LOVING YOURSELF, not yourself from the past, but your current self. That's the key to your moving on
