Dont be sorry, and you do make sense. As far as what you have to do...you can only do what you can. Thats what I tell myself when I get overwhelmed. I just try to chip away at everything the best I can and be patient with myself. Beating myself up wont get things done faster.

I too feel the devastation and confustion over how they can turn and be so heartless. All I can say is that if you dont trust him and think he may drop some kind of bomb, just keep your guard up at all times. I dont mean as in being paranoid, but having your guns ready to fire back. Keep in mind that they get off on the fact that they have us stressing like we do. If we give in and let them ruin each and every day for us, than they are winning.

Try to keep strong and dont give him this power over you.

That is so true...not giving them the power over us. This is a learning process. For so long we have tip toed around and found ways to make them happy or to keep them from getting angry. I can always tell when I have disarmed Jerk because he suddenly becomes very easy to work with, wants to cooperate, wants what best for everyone else, etc. At these times I enjoy his cooperativeness and I get what I can when he's in this mode, because I know it won't last and I also know I can't let my guard down. Think before I speak, even over what seems like the simplest things, because everything I say will be used against me! Hang in there.

Becky, your post hit the nail on the head for me. I feel exactly the same. When the stbx cooperates it is good, but I feel I am walking on eggshells all the time... or a mine field just waiting for it to blow. I feel he is nice on somedays just so he can gain my trust enough to use it to get what he wants or use it against me.

Thanks everyone :)