Hope all you ladies had or are having a wonderful Easter. It was so hard for me. This is the first Easter in 37 years I did not spend with my husband. I don't know where he went but he went somewhere mid-afternoon and didn't return until 6:30 pm. He did not wish the grandkids happy Easter and did not participate in any of the Easter activities. It broke my heart! He came home went stright to his bedroom and locked his door.( He started doing that just lately) I know I have to do this and follow through with the divorce. He has been so cold to me since I filed. I think he actually hates me now. I still have the slightest hope he may come to his senses and not want this to happen. He has done nothing but barrel through this. My heart is shattered over this and he acts like it doesn't even phase him. I wish I could just wake up and find this was just a bad dream. I want the hurt to end so badly!!!! So sorry I should not have written this on Easter. It just helps to have someway to express the pain. Thank You for listening.

Kathleen I am sorry you had a bad time with your husband. Don't let that get you down remember the good times you had with your grandkids I am sure that puts a smile on your face. Keep those memories in your head and think you will make it through this. Stay strong and take care.

Kathleen do not apologize for posting, that's why we are here. I am so sorry about what you re going through with your husband. I hope and pray that either he will come to his senses and realize what a good, loving woman he is losing, or that you will find the courage to move on with the divorce. You can't continue iving as you are, it must be so difficult.
Holidays are bound to be difficult during and I imagine for quite awhile after a divorce. Holidays just have so many emotions and memories tied up in them. I am afraid they will be hell if my husband goes through with the divorce. Somehow I will have to find the strength to carry on for the family if that happens but I know it will be extremely hard. I have felt bit sad all day today even though we had a reasonably good weekend. Husband and I both went out for dinner with the family last night, then we went to my daughter's house to play with our new grandson. Afterward, our younger two girls wanted to go dancing, and to my surprise my husband agreed. WE had a very nice time and an even bigger surprise was that he had apparently told the OW that he was spending time with family because he never had any communication with her from about 6PM until we got home at 2AM. That's a first since they always talk or text each night.
Today he is making up for last night though. He is on the phone with her as I sit at the computer. Still, it is always my hope that the family time is working in my favor by showing him just how much he will be missing if he leaves us.
Hang in there Kathleen. We will both make it through this somehow.

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement which I really need right now. Alone you are so amazing to me! I could not be in the same house with my husband knowing he was talking to the OW with me right there. Have you suggested counseling to your husband? I really feel he is the one who needs it way more than you do. Just stay strong. You are such a shinning example to the rest of us. Never give up!

Kathleen, thank you for your kind words. I do not feel that I am a good example. I feel more like a woman who is just very desperate to make her marriage work and to keep her family intact because she loves her husband. Your opinion gives my strength. He does leave the house when he talks to her, usually he just sits in his car in the driveway. I hate that of course, I wish this whole thing had never happened, but there is no way I could ever listen to sweet words I know he is probably saying to her.
Yes, I have asked for counseling. He went once to see my therapist, he said he was going to get advice on how to help me deal with things better. He hated it and says he will not go back. I really think the problem there is that he realizes our marriage is very savable but he doesn't want to hear that. It is easier for him to tell himself that we will never be happy together. He seems to feel that he knows how I feel better then I do. He often tells me that I could never get past his affair but I know that I can.

I'm sorry I didnt see this yesterday Kathleen. I hope you managed to get through the day ok. I'm sure you did.

He is hurting Kathleen. Thats why he's acting the way he is. You know how men are. When things are bad they tend to retreat into their "caves". Heaven forbid they show any emotion. The way he acted makes me think that it is bothering him more than you think it is.

I'm the one who filed too and my ex did the very same thing. It hurt like hell. I told him I was filing at the beginning of December. A few weeks later at Christmas (our son was only 3yo!) he came downstairs, watched him open presents, and immediately went back upstairs for the rest of the day. No playing with the new toys with the baby, couldnt have something to eat...nothing. He couldnt just suck it up for our son. It was a nightmare, and I do feel your pain over yesterday.

My ex was, and still is, very angry with me too for leaving. It's so very hard, but if it has to be done than it has to be done. If thats how they choose to deal with it, than there isnt anything we can do Kathleen.

Dont feel bad for posting this on Easter. Divorce is so difficult, and the holidays make it that much worse. Please have faith that the hurt will end one day. It will even though at times it doesnt seem like it.

Dear Chris, Thank You for your help! It made things alot clearer that maybe he does care but doesn't want to show it. I guess I'd better get used to this. We do not have children together however he helped raise my children their whole lives. I married him when they were 3 and 1. They are now 41 and 39 years old. He has always been very close to the oldest. She is really hurt by his actions as well. I think once this is over he will never see me again. He is the type. Like Alone this all seems so useless. I think it could be fixed if we each made a commentment to working on it. I am ready,willing and able to do that and he is not. I should realize this marriage has been very bad for a very long time now. It was impossible to live the way he made me live and that is why I filed. Unless things were really different I could not go back anyway. You give us all great hope for making it through. Thank You again.

I give hope??? I feel like such a mess...but thank you.

I know how you feel about how things could really work themselves out. I told ex I thought we should separate 8mos before I actually left. If he would have risen to the occassion I think we could have worked out our issues too. Instead he just got worse. Now its like hes punishing me for leaving...but he didnt do anything to help the situation!!! After that last awful 8mos I just couldnt take it another day, and moved out a month later.

Relationships need two people to work..we cant do it by ourselves. If they dont want to work for it, than its unfortunate, but we have to move on.

The day doesnt matter Kathlen, you write when you need to write just like all of us. I understand that dang pain. Honestly though, I think you should ask him to leave. Divorce is hard enough without having them in the same house. My stbx sent the kids Easter cards and chewed me out because they didnt call him. I that somehow my fault? They are both teens. The pain is going to be there until we can deal with it but I am glad mine left. I wouldnt be able to handle it as terribly as I am lol if he were still here. Ithink you should try to sit down, talk things over and if you guys decide to go ahead, ask him to leave because it is hurting you so much.