The questions about whether or not to let the OW's husband know comes up a lot. In my case, I didn't tell her husband. I even met her and her husband together and didn't acknowledge that I knew about her and my husband.
Now, 3 months after the divorce is final, I have no desire to tell her husband. As for her, I'd love to call her and rip into her. Or meet her in a dark alley. I'd still like to rip her eyes out.
Did she ever leave her husband? It terrible to rip a marriage apart, even two marriages, but worse when its just a passing fling. Not that it is ever justifyable but hw would you live with yourself? I just don't get it.
She has not left her husband. I know I will not tell her husband just for that reason, I can not be reasponsible for ripping about someone elses marriage.
His actions everyday rips us apart. Our children, their lives and I can not do anything about it but try to make sure that they are ok when they are with me.
You are so right. . .divorce sucks, midlife crisis sucks. I had a rough night last night. Not quite 4 months since he left. And I had the questions running through my mind. How on earth does someone do this to someone else? He went looking for someone to screw on a website. Made a conscious decision to cheat. Not while we were fighting or having a bad time. When I believed we were happy. No clue. And he finds someone and in 6 weeks time is gone. And less than a month later files for divorce. And he wonders why his grown daughters wont speak to him. Get a clue.
Just wait, bad things don't last forever. They will get caught and she will have hers in the end. Just let them be. I know it is easy to say, but the truth always has a way of coming out. Hang in there you will see.
May,
I have been in the same boat. Do I tell my ex's girlfriends husband she is cheating on him or not? My ex has told our children only half the truth. None of them know she is still married. The same with the rest of his family. All he has told them is that he is in love (yeah right, he does not know what real love is). It is all LIES and Cover ups when he talks to his family. There are days when I would REALLY like to expose him as the liar he is. This going on in a Catholic basis family.
I also believe she is just playing him.We have been divorced for 6 months and she gives no indication that she is going to leave her husband (who I hope lives to 100). She seems happy to just have an ongoing affair.
When I get really upset about this I just try to remember that they don't have a REAL relationship. They can not be there for each other without exposing their relationship. If one is hospitalized the other can't be there for them. If a family member dies, same thing. They can not spend holidays together.
I have always felt if you have to hide what you are doing you shouldn't be doing it. Someday it will come back to bite you. This is what they have to look forward to.