Im afraid of being alone too. I wish I knew people instead of being so shy. But if there's no chemistry what so ever, I think you made the right choice. I actually got my husband when my soul mate threw me away. I wish I would have taken a break before I started dating. Granted I was only 18 at the time but I ended up marrying the wrong person and life for the past 23 years hasnt really been great. Stick to your instincts. You will know when the right one comes along :)

It's ok...you just aren't ready yet. It isn't a matter of some of us being able to cope better. We're just a little further along with coming to grips with it..that's all.

I think it's great that you went on a date, and think you handled turning down seeing him again really well. In time you'll be ready to venture out again, and you'll meet someone who you click with. That takes time...and we are going to be more choosy this time around...so it should take some time to find that great guy.

I was separated for 8mos before I could even think about someone else. I too went on a few dates and had zero chemistry. Nice guys, but just nothing there. It's awkward at first, and can be very discouraging. The last guy I met however...the chemistry was there...it was like we had known each other forever. I hope that when he gets back from Afghanistan that we can pick up where we left off.

Just give yourself some time and then you can try again.

I agree with everyone here. Before I met my STBX, my first husband died of cancer. I too dreaded the dating seen. I think you are very normal, and it just takes time. Don't make any fast decisions.