Thinking back and realizing that I was the one who allowed the snake to disrespect me makes me physically sick. I begged the snake on my knees not to leave me. I cried and screamed in front of him, I beeged his wh@re to stop seeing him.
And now all I could think about is that my dignity has been torn apart. I hate myself for allowing them to walk all over me. I can't even look in the mirror and not feel disgust towards myself.
Dont feel that way. Its not your fault its HIS. When you get used to someone being around its so hard to deal with them just taking off for someone else. Just because they need new excitement or something. Its a pain worse than dying to have them disrespect us the way they have. You didnt LET them walk over you. You tried to keep your family together. Nothing wrong for that. Dont add hate for yourself onto the tall pile of hurts. You didnt do anything wrong. HE did. HE is the one that should feel the shame, not you.
Please,please, please don't feel that way about yourself. You probably did what we all wanted to do but were to afraid to do. Pain, grief, and desperation make you do things you would never normally do! I filed for a divorce yet I keep trying to leave the door wide open to reconcile and my husband keeps slamming it in my face. I don't see that much difference between us. Look how courageous Alone and Lonelyone have been fighting the good fight trying to save their marriages at all cost. They both realize that their husband are in a full blown mid-live crisis. When you look in the mirror you should see a women who loved so deeply that she was willing to sacrifice even her soul to save her marriage not just for herself but for her child. This was actually very nobel of you. You need to place the blame where it really belongs with those that betrayed you. I hope you may soon come to grips with this. Don't allow them to taint your new life. I hope you are still seeing the wonderful new man. We will keep you in our prays
I echo what the others said. There is nothing wrong with what you did. Begging ex to help save your relationship, and begging OW to back off...theres nothing wrong with that at all. What THEY did is wrong.
What you did was show how much this meant to you, and how badly you still wanted it.
I know it still stings though. There is nothing wrong with having loved someone so much that you were willing to do or say anything to let them know that.
Thanks everyone for your support.
And Kathleen, yes I'm still seeing the guy. He tries to make an effort to see me as often as possible and his toothbrush already moved into my bathroom that kind of freaking me out.
Don't freak out just enjoy. Even if this is a rebound it has totally changed how you feel. He just might end up to be the one. Don't shut any doors that are open to you. Glad he's still in your life. How long till the divorce is finished?
With the divorce is the complete bummer. The petition that has been sent to the court is not valid anymore, as the Mejestry Court has changed all the paper work and so the lawyer has to redo all the paper work all over again. So if the snake signes the papers straight away it should take few months.
I think we have all been there. We have begged and pleaded with this men and they just seem to think for what they want. Don't feel bad, look at the bright side, he is no longer your problem.
This is a conversation I've had with my therapist. I ALLOWED Jerk to mistreat me for 14 years. He did as he pleased and I tried to keep him from being angry. It was all about him. When I tried to make it so it wasn't all about him, a huge fight would follow. Why did I allow it? Well, I allowed it because I vowed 'til death do us part, for better or for worse.' I believed I had made my bed, so to speak. When Jerk told me he wanted a divorce I begged him. I tried EVERYTHING you can imagine. I, too, set an all time low. But I've forgiven myself. I did it for the RIGHT reasons. He made his decisions for selfish reasons. Hang in there.