I've heard of the parent who doesn't take their visitation having to pay for the child care expense if they do not take the children. I don't know if you can get that put in the divorce? You do have a good attorney I hope. If you have soul custody he must have to pay alot in child support. When my mom divorced my dad she said to me at 12 years old. I knew you were going to be all mine. We were because my dad didn't see us until he remarried. So I guess they are all yours. Why can't your children be aroung another man? I don't know how that can be inforced. Is that in your divorce? I can certainly understanding not bring your kids into a relationship until you know it is serious and the man is going to be there. It is amazing that a MD who is supposed to help people and save lives would be such and uncaring man when it comes to his own children. Just know you have alot of support here. I hope you have good legal counsel because you really need it.

I go through this all the time. Ex doesn't show or is late and I have to cancel plans because he is late. It is very frustrating.
I have met someone else and we spend a lot of time together with the kids. He is great with my kids and my kids love him. They talk to him more freely then they do their Dad. They do more with him then they do their Dad. He is more of a Dad to them then their Dad is. My youngest asked him one time if he could call him Dad (kind of heartbreaking and wonderful at the same time) My oldest was there when he asked and stated " We might as well he does more for us then Dad does"
They hug him and tell him they love him when he leaves. Their faces light up when he comes over. Heck I think he spends more time playing with them then he does with me It's all okay with me. I know that no matter how much their Dad hurts them that they have a stable "family" here with me.
I hate to say it but you have to get used to it. It will never change. These dead beat Dads are all the same. All about them, never about the one who is the most important, their child.

Dear Lisa, I am so happy for you. You are building a new happy family. It doesn't take biology to be a family. Your story gives us all hope. You children sound wise for their young years. They realize who their bio dad really is and what he isn't. They and you are going to be fine. Go have a happy life!

I hope so Kathleen. I worry every single day that my leaving my ex will destroy them. I know I made the right decision but I can't help worrying how it will effect their future....All I care about its their health and happiness.

My court order says that we cannot have the children around our romantic involvements. But when do I get time for that to happen. I have recently reaquainted with an old boyfriend. We both are going through divorce. He has custody of his child, the mother not involved much (shocking to me as a mother). We have done a few things as friends with our children. Of course my (ex)husband found out and that's when court said no no no. There was nothing but friendship at the time. But now maybe that will blossom, but unfortunately, that why their father doesn't take them on his parenting time.

At what point can the children be around your 'romantic involvements'? Are you supposed to be single forever, or what did I miss?

The children can be around a romantic partner after the divorce is final. However, my ex-spouse is proceeding for a trial. As he wants me and children to walk away with nothing. The court says him and I can be around whoever, just the children cannot be present. So, with his measly parenting time of every other weekend of 9am to 5pm besides work he has all the time to himself. He has even chosen for his girlfriend to come in during the day at his office and spend time with her. His girlfriend is divorced and has a daughter. Since her divorce is final he can go around her whenever he wishes. Just as he went with his girlfriend and her daughter to visit the girlfriends mother in the hospital where he practices. The court set the pre-trial date in July and stated the actual trial date may take up to a year from there, despite the weekly visits we are already making to court.

Lost,

I document a few times where I had plans and had to cancel because he didn't pick the children up, and document where you asked him to make sure he followed through on his committments. After that I would go ahead with my plans and take the kids with me. If the court has said, no don't do that. Let your ex take you back to court and he can explain why you have your kids around your romantic interest. He can explain why he has repeatedly not shown up for his visitation or spent time with his children. It is not fair that he has plenty of time to build a new life while you put yours on hold.

Teresa

I do agree. But my attorney told me this would just spark a huge custody battle even though he doesn't want the children. He has even told my children his girlfriend of three weeks would be a better mother to them and she would take care of everything. Funny how he knows her so well. I need to put another post up in regards of how he speaks to the children on the phone. My attorney told me unfortunately it's not fair but that's the way it is. He told me it won't last forever. I did have to switch attorneys and this one seems much better, even though I don't agree with this because in the end my children will be able to go around whoever I wish. This is giving my ex-spouse control.