This is difficult to say in few words. My ex talks mainly to my oldest daughter the longest amount of time. Only a few minutes to the younger two children. He is seriously dating, which he will not admit to the children, but he is seen in public and at his office and the hospital where he works with his girlfriend. He hangs out at the local bars and gets drunk every weekend not as much now since her or they go together. No, I don't go to the bars. When he calls our daughter it's always about how sick he is. Two months ago he had cancer (not true), last week he was having a stroke (not true) and this week he is in kidney failure and he is dying and will not go on dialysis (not true). Courts don't help, domestic and children's hotlines just told me to document everything and my oldest knows he lies but is afraid he may be telling the truth. I know this is not right but she is worried so she noted it on fb and then asked for prayers for her daddy. Okay, I'm not going to tell her she cannot ask for persons to pray for her daddy (maybe it would help some of his mental issues; haha). My neice called me and said she should not put that on there. I said wait a minute she wants people to pray for him, nothin is wrong with that. And if he is lieing then dam him to hell for making her worry and cry. Every call all he does is question her about me. How does he have time with work his girlfriend and bars to worry about me? Oh wait it's that control he cannot let go of. The court allowed him to give my daughter a cell phone that he can call from 7:30a to 8:30p. She sometimes doesn't answer but then feels guilty. She wants to see him with his girlfriend (not sure if that good idea). She said she just wants to prove he lies to her. Well the last time he had them for parenting time he bought flowers on both days and told the kids he bought them for himself. uggg. what to do????

How old is your oldest daughter? It looks to me that she is beginning to see her "daddy" for what he is, and if given enough rope in time he will hang himself. I don't think you can stop her from worrying about him. Kids will worry about their parents. Can you reassure her that if there is something seriously wrong with him you would know? I don't understand why they do this to kids. There is something seriously wrong with him, but it's not cancer.

I agree with Becky. He is going to do what he is going to do, a lot like my ex with the lies or cover-ups too, and all you can do is to show her by example from your own life. I don't see anything wrong with her asking for prayer for her father. It is on his head if he is lying, not hers. Her prayers are coming from her heart. Like Becky said, your ex is only going to hang himself in time with his own lies and as our kids get older they begin to see the truth for themselves. Just give her all the love and support you can.

You are in my prayers, Susan

Amen Becky, my husband kept asking about me also but I think it was to play with the kids heart thinking he cared & was heart broken even though he was the one to walk out for the *****...I don't believe it's for control because the only control they still have on us is the money which we all know $1 would kill them to have to give up because they need it to buy their *****s...Today's women don't date for free....

You all are so right!! He did post on fb today that he was fine now he was just a little dehydrated from a sore throat. My daughter did say back then why did you tell me a couple months ago you had cancer and the other day you told me you were dying and in kidney failure and you would not get treatment. This is definetly a learning experience for her.

Thanks for all the support. Does anyone know of any websites that are geared toward children and if so are they safe?

My daughter is 10years old and she tells me she thinks he is lieing but what if that one time he is not. So, she states she will continue to worry. I did tell her that if something is seriously wrong eventually I would be made aware. I told her a couple months ago he said he had cancer, now his kidneys are failing. I'm just wondering what's next.

I think what may be next will be his heart, only it won't be a lie because he doesn't really have one to be doing this to his daughter. How can some people be so heartless.

Susan

Dear Lost, It concerns me that this unstable man is actually a doctor. He has a bad case of the God complex. I would be concerned about your financial future if you have to rely on this man. He sounds like he could actually do something to lose his license and where would you be then? This parasite is unconscionable to do this to a ten year old. I hope your children are seeing a therapist to help deal with all of this. It is amazing that so many bright, caring, genuine women have chosen to marry these men. Are they so different and then change that much? Mind you you're not allowed to see anyone with your children. I still can't understand how they can inforce such a thing. What if you want to remarry? This sounds really crazy to me. I must say you have one of the most difficult situations on this site. We will certainly pray for you and your children. Be prepared for the worst because with this man it is probably coming.

I think these men are such masters at manipulation, so good at lieing, and so talented at acting that we didn't see who they really were until it was too late. In my case I don't think there really were warning signs early on. Things happened gradually, really, but when I think about it I don't think he changed, I think he began to let me see who he truly is. I dated him for 3 years. You would have thought that would have been long enough! GEEZ!

Becky, you are so right. My ex played "Mr. Wonderful" for a long time. Then I started to see who he really was and was extremely disappointed He was not "Mr. Wonderful" He was "Mr. Wonderful When Other People Were Around To See It" Big difference.
My new boyfriend doesn't play the rule of "Mr Wonderful" He plays the rule of himself. He is just him, flawed, loving, caring and perfectly human. If I would have know just how deep my ex's flaws were I don't think I would have married him.