I purchased a book called Divorce Busting. It is very insightful. My impending divorce is not as a result of infidelity as the majority of the ladies on this sites are. Mine was about control and money. My husband was very bitter and angry when I took the money I found and filed for divorce!!!!!!!!I offer him marriage counseling which he laughed at. He would not speak to me for about two months. I started to write him notes. He ripped them up and through them all over the floor. Then two days ago the note was not all over the floor. When he came home he told me his bedroom door would be unlocked if I still wanted to talk. I went in and I did not talk about the problem one bit. I mainly just layed down next to him and watched TV. I told him I did not want to discuss the problem yet. I just wanted to open up the lines of communication again. We talked alittle and believe it or not ended up making love for the first time in over five years. I have not taken any action to cancel the divorce and do not plan to unless we can get the problems under control. Again there has not been any discussion as of yet about the divorce and what needs to be fixed before it is put on hold. I have an appointment with a therapist 5-26-11 who just happens to have taught marriage and family counseling at a top university in my area for 17 years. I will give it a few more days and then tell my husband I want him to go with me. Ladies keep me in your prayers. I must admit I have not been happy for a life time of years. This is just my hail mary pass before it is all over. I hope he will step up to the plate and help me save our 37 year marriage. It is very doable I feel without alot of effort. I have not played the blame game which is killing me but it won't help our situation. I plan on letting him know what I need to come back to the marriage and ask him what he needs to come back to the marriage. Wish me luck.

Oh, Kathleen. I'm thinking of you. It would be so nice if he'd just agree to the counseling. Then you would have some help from a neutral party getting the communication rolling. Keep us posted.

Kathleen I will be paraying for you, your husband and that happily ever after for the both of you.

Kathleen,
I soooo hope things work out for you. I tried numerous ways to save my marriage but none of them worked. Didn't try this one though. Hoping and praying it does the trick for you.

Kathleen,

I will pray for you and your happiness. You have been such a strong supporter of the women in this chat room. Your comments sre so heartfelt and intelligent. You deserve every moment of happiness. Let us know how it goes.

Teresa

I hope all goes well and continues, it would be nice to have a marriage on this forum workout. Like you stated, just take is slow. There was a time my ex came back to work it out during our divorce and all he kept asking me was if I had canceled my lawyer yet. He asked me that at least once or twice a day for a week then ended up leaving again. I think he just came back to get me to drop her and then leave again, but I didn't I didn't trust him enough to listen to him. He came back another time before this and I didn't realize till later it was to take more things out of our home. I would love a happy ending for you and your husband. I think we all would love to see that, but please be very careful. I'm sure you know this though. You are in my prayers.

Susan

I wish you lots of luck. I truly hope that you both can get into therapy and find a way to make this work out.

Kathleen, there's a little glimmer of hope here. 37 years is a long time to have to let go. If he doesn't go to counseling, and for some reason he may not, don't give up. You took a small step by not talking about the problem. You both opened the door. You're in my prayers.

I can't tell you all how deeply your thoughts and prayers have touched my heart. I am trying to approach this as a realist. I am completely committed to going the distance and finishing the divorce if I have to. I don't want to but will if it is necessary. I still am trying to develope a bond again before starting into the hard work it is going to take. It was almost five years of silence and anger on my part. I know I had my part in the break down of my marriage. I am being wary of his intentions. I am the one who opened the door not him. He has not questioned the process of the divorce or the money I still have so far. I will keep you all posted. I am still praying for all of you and your families. I am still very much in this with all of you. There is no guarantee this is going to work out for us. I have just taken the few first baby steps. I can just pray and do my part for now.

I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers Kathleen. 37 years is a life time and I hope he realizes what is at stake..a wonderful,caring woman who is devoted to him.
Good Luck