Discuss your troubles, compare ex's, offer suggestions, and share stories!
I've got 3 huge things on my plate. 1) Divorce that's not yet settled 2) Bankruptcy 3) Selling the house
Well, my attorney has set up a settlement meeting for May 17. (I can't make it on that date, so will have it rescheduled, but it's so close.) I'm not sure where we are apart. Jerk just says there's a few issues. Well that helps me a whole h*** of a lot. What are those issues? I believe a loan to his father is one of them. Don't know where he thinks I'll find another dime each month.
I am ready to file for the bankruptcy. That's a long, hard process. Here I am. 3 AM and can't sleep. I couldn't borrow a dime if my life depended on it, and yet Jerk thinks I'm taking the easy road. That since I'm filing for bankruptcy I should be able to take on this loan from his dad because I won't have any other debt. Um...I'm filing because I can't make the payments, not to have extra spending money each month. DUH! [Duh-2]
The house just sold. I have no place to go. I have until June 17 to find a place to live and get moved. We have pets, which complicates the search. Kids want to stay in their school but it's not near my family and friends. I need to move closer to a support system. Because of the bankruptcy and the budget I've provided I need to find a place to rent that is close to my current portion of the house payment. My Dad has offered for us to move into his acreage, and he'd find a small house to rent since it would be easier for him. If I rent from him he would have tax complications (would have to talk to a tax guy to figure out just what and see how we could make it so it didn't hurt him) and I can't feel good about pushing him out of his home.
Everytime I think I'm making progress on something I'm slapped in the face with something else. I'm tired of the stress, tired of being tired, tired of feeling sick, and tired of making mad dsshes to the bathroom because of the stress.
How much can I deal with all at once? I think I've hit my limit.
Dear Becky, Try and take a deep breath. I really like the idea of moving into your dad's. Could you get a mobile home to put on the property for your Dad. I think you can work out the tax thing pretty easily. I'm sure this arrangement won't be forever. Why on earth would you ever take a loan for his father? Do you guys owe him money? I would say this is the ex's responsibility to take care of. You no longer have to answer to your ex. It is your decision whether or not to file for bankruptcy. Other than co-parenting with him it's none of his business what you do in the future. Just take one thing at a time. First I'd say you need a place to live. It will all work out soon. Your having a support system is so important. The kids will get over changing schools and make new friend immediately they always do. Offer to take them to visit old friends if you feel they are really missing them. I know the stress can kill you. Why do you have to make all the concession in this? We well be thinking of you and praying for the best outcome.
Breathe... You do have a lot on your plate. Take one thing at a time. You need a place to live and your dad has offered one. He won't offer it up as an option if he wasn't okay with it. You are his daughter and he wants to help. I think that is the hardest part sometimes: accepting help from parents and family and friends when we want to stand on our own two feet and be independent. Talk to your dad and see what can be done. Talk to your lawyer about dates that you can make to get your divorce resolved. Do what you can and hope for the best. And really remember to breathe and ask for help and accept it when it is offered. Praying for you.
You are better compared to me. You got your house sold and you can move to your father's home. Bankcruptcy will help you to have a chance to start financially better next time.
For me, I do not have any relative that I can move with. My house I can not afford to pay because I am an stay at home mom for a longgg time. No higher education and 59 years old. My lawyer's bills are too much that I did borrow some money from families and friends to help me pay for some of it. But now I do not know how I am going to pay them back. My soon ex is making this divorce like hell. He blindsided me of having a sexual relationship/ affair with his high school sweetheart. I can not get any job because my lawyer said that it may affect my case right now. On top of all these......my son came to move with me because him and his wife decided to separate. My daughter in college is single and going to have a baby soon. The saying when it rains it pours........is truly happening in my life.
I tell you this, Becky because I can feel how much pain you are going through. You are not alone in the same boat. Another saying that somebody else got it worse than you..........is also true.
Keep your faith in God. That is what the only reason I keep on going and don't give up. I live one day at a time.
Reading the posting on this forum also helps me a lot.
I thank all the women that share their stories. We all can do it to get through this crisis in our lives.
I pray for all of us.
Oh Becky! I agree with the others that it sounds like a good idea to take your dad up on his offer. I know you dont want to put him out, but I'm sure there is nothing he would rather do than be helping you out right now. So why not let him?
I'm currently living with my brother and niece because I lost my job and apartment. I feel for you..I know how tough it is and how it takes it out on you mentally, physically and spiritually. Its not what we wanted to be doing or where we wanted to be going, but its not going to be forever.
I think it would take a huge load off of you accepting your dads offer. The kids will be fine and you wont have to worry about the animals either.
I feel the same. So over stressed I feel like I cant handle any more. We understand. We are all here for you.