I feel that way too. I will admit that I enjoy my time when my son isnt here. I get a chance to rest and recharge, do my shopping leisurely, sleep a bit later in the morning. I still miss him terribly though and feel like something is missing.

I hate that he has two homes, has to share holidays..all of that. At times its like hes more of a possession that we have to share equal time with rather than a child. Not what I envisioned for our family at all.

I really dont have any advice..just wanted to say that I know where youre coming from.

Even though my kids are grown I am worrying about how the family will ever feel whole again. I am not yet divorced, still living with my husband, and truthfully I can't stop hoping that we will be able to find a way to stay together. But as time goes by I have been forced to face the idea that my wish may not come true. I can't help feeling that everything about my family will be diminished if he and I aren't together to enjoy it. I am glad to hear that there is a possibility that a new kind of family life might eventually be at least somewhat enjoyable.

"Here's a question???" Do men feel this loss as well, in the same way as we do? It seems like my ex couldn't care less that he chopped up a family after 20 years of marriage. He just stuck in a substitute and did what he darn well wanted.

Susan

I wonder that same thing, Susan. Do they feel any sense of loss over this? I know my stbx has to at least feel the loss of his children. The girls are grown women and choose not to talk to him. Won't even answer a text from him. But I am sure he is so busy with his new skank girl friend, that he forgets it and goes on with his life.

Barb, I guess it's that "sensitivity chip" that Jennifer Aniston talked about. All I can say is, I'm glad I was born a woman, because I find my emotions comforting, real and something I would not want to live with out even though it can lead to getting your heart broke. Makes me wonder if men ever see love the way we do?

Susan

I believe we are very different creatures from men. Our brains are different. I to am glad to be a women. We bare these children and a man can never feel that experience. We bond more I think. I think they are the ones who miss out on the glorious feeling of being a mother. Children also bond more to their mothers I believe as long as the women are mothers in the since of the word. This is God's gift to us. We also experience alot more pain then men phyically and mentally for our children. I know that empty feeling when the kids are gone. As already stated the children are the ones who really bear the brunt of all of this child sharing. All in all I am glad to be the mother and would never want to trade places with them.

Amen, Kathleen. I agree with everything you said.

Susan