I know deep down that this is the right thing for us, I'm just a "Til death do us part" kinda girl. I feel like whatever is wrong we should fully commit to fixing and move forward together. I think the main thing is security ... we have nothing. No house, still making car payments on a car that has 140,000 miles on it, and we JUST bought new furniture and for the first time ever are not sitting on hand-me-downs from my relatives. I just don't know how to do this in the same house. I have taken in everything that he has said and have been doing my hair, making dinner, cleaning, etc, but I feel like out of respect, he should try to work on some of his stuff too since we have to live together indefinitely. Instead though, when I do get sad and show it, he gets mad. We split up for 3 years before, but when we got back together I thought we both knew the good, bad and ugly of each other and knew exactly what we were getting into. That's why all of this caught me off guard. I'm going to try the "church thing", but I'm not sure how I feel about that since I have NEVER gone before and have some serious disagreements with some of the teachings. I'm going to try though. It is still very scarey .. mostly because I have been with him my entire adult life (got married at 19). I want to thank everyone for their words of support, and I can't tell you how much respect I have for your strength. I hope that I can be as strong as all of you. I think once the kids are told, things will be better ... they don't hold their tongues and will be on his case even more about treating me like, for lack of a better word, ... crap. Maybe then he will actually try to be more cordial even when he isn't just trying to get me into bed. Time will tell. Thanks you again! Your strength gives me strength and I'm grateful. Does anyone have a good divorce attorney website I can visit to look up what my rights are?
I just wanted to say that I wish you all the best Kiki. I know its hard to believe right now, but you are going to be just fine. As you go through the divorce process, you are going to find strength within yourself that you didnt know you had. You have it in you..we all do.
I wonder why the kids cant know about what is happening. If they are unhappy...asking to leave the house, would it be such a bad thing? Sounds like they know that things are wrong already, so maybe it would be a positive thing in their eyes.
As far as meeting people, even if you decide that religion isnt for you, churches often have divorce meetings that have nothing to do with the church..they just meet there. Also, there are different types of churches. If you go to a few there may be one that is a good fit for you. I dont know how much time you have, but would a little volunteer work be something you could do? Maybe at a hospital, library or something like that?