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Re: Dating

I'm in my fourth month of separation and was wondering the same thing. I don't want to sabotage the next relationship with paranoia and frustrations from my marriage and right now I'm just busy with finishing my masters and moving back. But I know when I come there is a big possibility that I will start dating someone. But I am trying to have some time for myself too and I won't be moving with a man anytime soon. I've been told to take things slow. It sounds like good advice to me.

Re: Dating

I don't think there are hard and fast rules, but I definitely rushed things. I began dating at 6 months post separation; went out with 3 guys and then met #4, whom I now live with, at 10 months after my separation; we lived together after 1 month. There is a difference between having dinner out and moving in with them. Evidently I did not know how to keep it light after a 30 year marriage. If you could do no sex for 1 year post separation it would truly benefit you in my opinion. I definitely have messed up my life even worse than it was when the ex left me for the OW.

Re: Dating

Theres no set time frame. Just be sure that you have no more hang-ups about your ex that could carry over into something new.

I too grieved my marriage before I left. We were done for about two years before I moved out. There was no communication, hugs or kisses, and at the time I left it had been a year and a half since we had sex. Still...for me it took 8mos before I started thinking of someone new. I needed time alone. Time to get adjusted to my new life and being on my own. I also wanted to make sure that I wasnt going to be taking any drama with me too.

I started dating and met some nice guys. No one I wanted to see again , but nice people all the same. Then I found my current bf.

Good luck and have fun!