My ex was very emotionally abusive. It was a very difficult decision to leave and only you can make that determination. I left and went back 3x! It's hard to stand up to someone that has controlled you for so long. I went to marriage counseling as well and it was a lot of him bagerring me about what I'm doing wrong. finally, I just stopped and said I'm not gonna do that. When you get to that point, you'll know. It's hard to make the decision but in my case, it saved me. I was such a MISERABLE person and everyone saw it, when I finally left, people would tell me how happy I looked. I knew what I did was right. I tried to stay because of the kids which I'm sure you're thinking about as well. You can't be a good mother if you're miserable all the time. They need two functional parents not two dysfunctional parents. When he's sucking the energy out of you, how much do you have left for them?? Think about that...you're kids are your priority. Take care of you more worry less about how to "make him happy". You can control you...he controls him. Hope everything works out for you!
I am recently seperated, he ran away from home after the responsibilities and life became inconvenient and too real. I told someone that I felt like I had stockholm's syndrome.
I couldn't understand what the abuse was though? How had I been a victim? I did a bit of research and realized that my husband controlled things by having a catostrophic reaction anytime he didn't get his way. He played the victim and still managed to be in control. They also talked about "cognitive dissonance". I recommend a little Bing research on it. You might be surprised.
I'm still struggling with the loss of my husband, yet I don't want him to come home. I remember the first morning I woke, before I knew it was forever and how free I felt. The air was clear in my house.
The bottom line though is that it doesn't much matter how relieved the divorced or soon to be divorced are. It's a painful process and doesn't always end up the way we expected. I encourage you to... pause. Do a little reading, find yourself in this-Where you are, where you want to be. Your choices and decisions will come a lot easier then.
If only friends could make our mates act right!!!!