The ahole called last night. we had a decent talk. I was basically ignoring him. He was talking about hating where he is now and then asked if I had gotten rid of anything yet. Talked about places here for rent and even the house we lost that we could buy back at a reasonable price that we could afford. He left. He told me to do with the stuff whatever and keep any money I made off it. Now he sounds like he wants to come back. Mad I got rid of one of the things he liked but...i dont know. At the end of the convo he started accusing me of crap that wasnt true and when I calmly defended myself he got po'ed and hung up. Financially it would be so much easier to take him back not just for me but for the kids too and I would keep insurance too, mentally it would be a mistake. Everyone is telling me "dont you dare take him back" and I shouldnt but, if I did I could have some time to work on getting a job or be more prepared to deal with it. But I could nver love him again. He has hurt me so badly and when he took off with no intentions of coming back, I cant handle that pain again. I dont think his daughter would forgive him either. Thanks to him she may not pass this year. I dont know what to do. No matter what I chose I will hate myself for one reason or another. I dont want my family hating me or saying well you had your chance either. They are helping me now and may not next time. I was so close to getting a grip and now I am torn between what to do once again. My daughter wants that house back so badly. But I am so hurt that he has had a 3 month vacation and didnt care what he was doing to us. This is one of those "choose whats right or choose whats easy" things. Im so exhausted mentally and physically the easy way is sounding good. Help! I always make the wrong choices in life. I dont want to make another.
All I can say is be true to yourself. I was in a position where I had to choose between living with a man I felt nothing for who was sucking me dry, emotionally and financially in order to complete my education or just leaving and possibly getting forced to leave the country. I asked for help and got it and honestly I was humiliated asking for help. However, I know it was the right decision for me because had I stuck around and eventually had kids, they would have been able to see that mom was unhappy.
I think what you are looking at is shorterm versus longterm. Whatever you decide we will support you.
As much as I've cried over these 6 weeks, the one blessing was that he completely cut me off. He made it wo I can't call, write or anything. I tried the first day to bargain, but he cut it off quick. He said the same, "You get everything and I get to leave.... I don't care about anything that's left, do with it what you want." I had it donated or thrown away within a few weeks. I worried he would call me during that time and be angry I had gotten rid of his stuff. But I'm not worried about it anymore.
Be proud you took care of yourself, you moved on. There was wreckage he left behind and you had to work to clean it up. Whatever decision you end up in, don't regret taking care of yourself and don't sell yourself short.
Thank you both. I have to say no. I just have to. I finally have a grip, most of the time, the crying has mostly stopped. I could never forgive him for these past few months or ever trust him again. I cant even believe I even considered it. Just so **** tired. Just want the crap to end.