No, you are not being selfish. He is a verbal abuser....took me 25 years to find the answer/book which saved my life....I would say, RUN do not walk and get this book....The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans...
It is rarely a good idea to get into counseling with an abuser and I did that, not knowing....major disaster.
Abusers are acting out their anger and rage at whatever was done to them in the past (usually). They are very insecure.
He is also....abusing your son. Use all of the resources you can...the book I mentioned and counseling for YOURSELF only.
Abusers rarely think they are abusive or have any problems, it is ALL your fault.
A good question for him: What behavior(s) are you willing change?
Most likely.....None. I finally got a divorce after 31 years of verbal abuse. It was excruciatingly scary, but one sentence helped me make the decision:
"Try to let the side of you that is trying to save yourself.......win."
You are wasting your breath when you respond..he doesn't care what you think, say or want.....Only HIS needs are important...emotional blackmail.
As for "we don't have a bad life together, you are ruining it."
Maybe HE doesn't have a bad life.....but YOU do......YOU are not ruining it.....HE is.....with his verbal abuse and controlling behavior. It is of no use to explain anything, they will always turn it back onto you and take NO responsibility for their behavior.
Thank you for your thoughts. I am trying to stay focused on what I feel is best for both myself and my son. Thank you again. Hope you have a wonderful day.
Thank you Chris,
I know he is very manipulative and is continuously trying to convince me to change my mind. Again, I am trying to stay strong and remain steadily working towards my ultimate goal of being "FREE".
Hope you have a fantastice day.