yes..l did that..as a matter of fact, l read a book called "to good to leave, to bad to stay" and it did clear my mind about what l want..but when l think about my kids..that they will grow up "without their father", make me feel so F@#$% guilty..and l know my H will make me feel that way :(
Should l wait to get divorse when my kids are old enough to understand?..or should l do it while they are little?
I made the list too, it really helped me during all of the times I doubted that it was the right thing.....and I was the one who not only needed to get out of abuse I also really wanted it to end. I still found the list helpful for months and years later when still waiting for a divorce.
I struggled with leaving because of my son too. In fact, I stayed with him alot longer for that very reason. All I can say is that a bad situation isnt going to get any better, and will most likely get worse. This isnt good for you and it isnt good for you children either. Kids pick up on the vibes in the house and they know when things arent right. It actually could be more detrimental to them if you stay.
On top of this, you are unhappy. Of course you want to put your children first, but you also want to be the very best mom that you can be for them. If you are sad, stressed, depressed, than that is taking energy from you that you can be putting into doing for yourself and them.
In the end, I figured that he would be better off with two happy parents who lived apart, rather than two miserable parents living together.