...along comes The First Grandchild. Beast's oldest daughter just gave birth (out of wedlock, no idea who the father is, at the state's expense). Child looks nothing like who Beast's daughter claims is the father, nor does she look like the mom...

Mother is fair-skinned, blue-eyed, light brown hair; alleged father is fair-skinned, blue-eyed, blonde hair. Baby is dark-haired, brown-eyed, olive-skinned. Gee, guess who can't be the father?

Anyhow, now Beast is transferring all her affection, or attention, at least, onto this child...she can't have any more, thank the Gods in their mercy!

So. WK is "Grampa". Every fiber of my being rebels against that title coming from Beast's child.

But WK loves kids. He genuinely loves them. To him, nothing is more wonderful than a baby. So there's no way I'm interfering in this...even though I know Beast will leave him...even though I know she will turn everyone against him when she does...even though I know she is a sociopathic user and doesn't understand how "normal" people form and keep relationships.

I guess I just always thought that when a grandchild was welcomed...it would be our grandchild. And I feel that this is just one more thing that Beast has taken from me.

She sucks. I detest her. 'Nuff said.

Dear Deirdre, I am so sorry that this has happened. I know how much it must hurt to see that your husband is grandfather to a child who is not part of you like you had surely planned. Like you, I always loved seeing my husband with a baby. It is a rare man who is truly comfortable with a newborn and my husband is one of them. Watching him with a baby has always been one of my most favorite things about him. Now he is leaving not just me and our 4 children but also our 5 year old grandson who is crazy about him and his new baby brother who is less than 6 weeks old. Not to mention all the potential grandchildren who are yet to be even thought of. I do not know why he cannot see that the entire family is diminished without him. No matter how good it may someday come to be, it will always be so much less than it could have been if he had just made the effort to work on our marriage.

It is so sad that they really are in such denial that they don't see their actions destroying the whole family. They give this speech about it being about just them, but it's about the kids and the grandkids. My poor little grand daughter has been through so much. Her daddy came back from Iraq with PTSD and took his life almost a year ago. Then her Papa takes off with a girl friend. She has lived here with us since her daddy went to Iraq. She told me the other day that she had a bad dream about nuther (other) grandma bringing her to my house, and I was gone. Poor little dear is just waiting for the next one to disappear. She is only 3 and a half. For a 5 year old I am sure it will be as bad if not worse. The selfish pigs. Can't even fathom the mess they leave in their wake.

Barb I feel so horrible about your granddaughter. These little babies should not have a dal with these things. My grown children are suffering too, especially our 21 year old. Her grades have dropped and she is not feeling very trusting about her boyfriend,(and I can hardly blame her under the circumstances.) As our youngest she was especially close to her father and she is completely devastated although she tries hard to cover it with a who cares attitude. You are so right. My husband just doesn't get it at all. He really doesn't understand. He actually told me the other day that we will all adjust to the "new normal". Like everything is going to be fine. Our family will forever have a hole in it and he thinks we will adjust?

"Beast Child"? What kind of phrase it that to give to a "HUMAN BEING" that GOD created. You use God's name in your email and then you call a baby a BEAST CHILD.

Review your issues... It's painful to hear that. No baby is a "beast child".

Dear Acelia, I read the post again and I don't believe she refered to the child as a beast but to the grandmother. This grandmother is a beast to help destroy a long term marriage in this way. To destroy so many lives in her wake. I hope you are not affended by this comment but I feel you missunderstood the post. We need to be able to vent our anger and disappointment. This is the purpose of this site. We are all in this together. I agree that a baby is the most innocent of all of God's creatures. There isn't a person alive that could deny that. Hope you continue with your posts and welcome to our little family here.

In response to "acelia":

I beg your pardon? Not once did I use the phrase "beast child". 'The Beast' is the nickname that I have bestowed upon my ex's new wife, who is the woman he cheated on me with. I used the expression 'The Beast's child', referring to the mother of the grandchild, and kindly note the possessive pronoun. The baby can't help the circumstances of her birth, and I certainly do NOT blame her!

And I am not a Christian, so you won't see or hear me using G-d in any of my posts or replies thereto. Not to mention that my email mostly certainly does NOT mention "the man upstairs" in any way, shape, or form, nor will it.

'Beast child', indeed. Good grief. Get a clue and learn to read the entire flipping post before you attack.

I believe for me anyway the birth of a grandchild is the most wonderful experience of my life. Even more than the birth of my own children! We naturally want to share this with those we love. You will have your own grandchild someday and maybe your ex will being looking from the sidelines and you will have a new man in your life to share this joyful moment with. We all know for these men someday the real realization of what they have given up for what will slap them in the face. The real world will catch up to them all. How many men wonder why they left their home,families and women who loved them unconditionally. There waterloos are looming in their futures. The beautiful thing about it all is most of us won't care by then and they will suffer by themselves the pain of their actions. How long are their great love affairs going to last after life come calling. The honeymoon period only lasts so long. I predict most of them will grow to hate these women who helped them destroy their lives. Once again we just won't care anymore.

Hear, hear! Thanks for the perspective, Kathleen!!

I'd like to respond to the negative post about Deirdre, Not to put the poster down, but in response to Deirdre. I do mention God and Christ on this forum, but Deirdre or anyone else has never put me down for my postings. She has made me laugh and inspires me with her words at times as others do on here as well. As Kathleen has mentioned a lot of women start out on this forum with a lot of just anger for how they have been treated by their husbands and ex's and many need to vent because here is a much better place than to do it in front of our children or elsewhere. After healing I am finding my peace now, but at the start, I also vented on this forum as well. I think God gave us feelings and anger is one of them so he understands when we seek out a place where we feel free to vent or even speak of him without judgement. We might sometimes misread others postings as well. Each person expresses hurt and pain in different ways and I found in divorce I had so many feelings and issues that I did not know whether I was coming or going when it all began. I expressed them in prayer, but being human I also felt I needed to express them to others that understood as well. I think there are wonderful caring women on this forum who understand and with all the raw feelings of divorce I feel it is nice to have a SAFE PLACE to get things out without judgement. I also think humor is good to ease our anger...thank you Deirdre for making me smile at times.

Susan

Thanks, Susan. You are so right. All these women on here have been so helpful to me. Whether I am just reading their posts, or they are responding to mine. I consider all of them just dear friends I have not been lucky enough to meet in real life. And to have a place to say whatever and not be judged for it is important to us all.

Deirdre, I always look forward to your posts. So many times they can make me smile when I really need it.