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FInding his happiness

My soon to be ex says he had a right to find his happiness and has no guilt in what he has done. He has ruined me financially, broke up our family, living with the affair he denied for 2 years who is an ex girlfriend from highschool who has kids who go to school with ours and they have no shame. He doesn't pay child support because I make more than him but still not enough to support us and he gets to live with his girl who now is convieniently divorcded and got the house. Every day I wake up and can't believe this is true and this is my life and people in this town think he is a nice guy and I that I deserve this.

Re: FInding his happiness

Everyone thinks my ex is a nice guy as well. He works hard to have everyone like him. He'll let people walk all over him, rather than confront them if they've done something wrong to him or to me. He is so wrapped up in his image that he would never, ever stand up for what's right. Image is everything to him. Being liked is everything to him. The lies he told about "us" were all geared to making him look like the good guy. He always had to have the acceptance of everyone he encountered. Truth is: he's a total jerk!

Re: FInding his happiness

Move on with your life. You need to be sound and have self-confidence and worry about you. You were born alone and you will leave this world alone. So get movng...

Re: FInding his happiness

I'm really sorry for the way you have been treated. Those people who actually matter know the truth. You can hold your head up high because you are the bigger person. I still think these men will someday pay the price for their actions. As they say the best revenge is to go on with your life and be happy. You know he knows in his heart the truth. You are a powerful women and you are a wonderful, strong mother. You can do this. I can't believe he doesn't have to pay anything? My husband made about 100 times more than his ex and she had to pay a token amount of child support to him. I'd like to think that the good will outway the evil in the end. We are entitled to our feelings. They are what they are and never wrong. Go get that new life and show him you are the bigger person. We are here for you.

Re: FInding his happiness

Yeah, they always think life is about them and what they are "entitled" to. They have a right to be happy. Like the rest of us don't? My stbx (should be final this week though!!!!!!) is so concerned about his kids. Yeah, right. He doesn't want to carry the guilt that he has turned their lives upside down and he can blame a lot of things for that, but never himself. I wonder if as many people as you think really do think you deserve this. I'm sure he has some on 'his side', but I think more people see through these men than we sometimes realize. Do you have custody of your children? Just before we went into our first conference for our youngest this year, Jerk was pi$$ed at me about something (can't even remember what) and when we went in his body language said it all. That teacher has it figured out. The kids go to school in 'his' community. I know very few people here and have no friends here. But given enough time he hangs himself. Piece by piece people see. Of course he's got his good friends that will never see (since they hear all of the lies), but I wouldn't want them on my team anyway. How does he pay no child support? My understanding is that it is a formula and you each pay a percent of the child support depending on your income. For us Jerk pays 61% and I have 39%. As for him being a nice guy...he apparently had you fooled at one time, too. Jerk had me fooled. Masters at manipulation. It will catch up to them in time.

Re: FInding his happiness

I don't believe these men will ever find happiness because they are looking outside of themselves. Happiness comes from inside, from be satisfied with what you have, and the willingness to grow. Happiness does not come from betrayal, lies and running away.

Re: FInding his happiness

Right on, Teresa!

Re: FInding his happiness

If the kids are spending more time at your place, then your ex should be paying some child support. Even if he is unemployed, the courts will attribute some income to him and figure out child support payment. I guess you never went to court over support payments?

He won't be paying any child support, if the children are with him all the time...and then you would be paying him child support.

Re: FInding his happiness

You know..I do agree that he deserves to be happy. We all do. What I want to know is how you can leave your wife and kids, regardless if he has someone else..and be happy. How can you be happy with what you did...how you left things with your woman and children? I dont think you can. Somehow I think that deep inside, many of these guys do have some measure of a conscience (they can't all have absolutely NO remorse for the damage they've caused), and that when they are alone and look in the mirror, they can see what they really are.

As far as the town people, they have no idea. Let them believe what they want. Dont waste your precious time and energy worrying about people that dont matter anyway.