I just came from visiting a girlfriend who hesitated a little bit as she mentioned how he had promised a lot of good that were never delivered. He definitely played a role to gain entry into a relationship with me. But WHY? I remember it was in the third month and it began to quickly unravel and his true colors came shining through. Here's the thing, WHY? I wanted to be loved, not some fictional character I made up. Don't they get it? If they are creating a fictional character how can they expect to be loved for who THEY are? And then when we negotiate our standards, what we most wanted in life and so on... they miss the drama and head off to do it all again. It is one of the many things that will never make sense.
It does all come out in the end. Lots of people put on a face in the beginning months of relationship. However, deep down instead, their true self will come out eventually, don't you worry. Hang in there. It hurts and its frustrating to see it, however, you are the woman who is going to overcome it because you know better. Hang in there!
I totally get what you ladies are saying. I have been there too. But,if I may share, the thing I am learning is to love myself.Does it take the place of having someone to hold you at night or laugh with you or protect you. Not really but it does give you to realization that you do not need someone to complete you (excuse the Jerry McGuire reference). Do I want a man in my life again? Sure. But when he comes I want to be able to say yes because I love him and not because I need someone to make me whole. God makes me whole, he is the one I need to complete me.That is the way he designed it, we are not whole without him, and when we are putting our husbands in his place it is the same breach of trust that our husbands displayed in our marriages. We are intelligent, beautiful, independent women. God has a plan for each and every one of us. If you are a christian then you know what I am saying is true. Psalms 139 says that our lives were an open book to him before we were even born. That means he knew this would happen and has made plans accordingly. God is the author of our lives. Let him lead and agree to follow. Don't go kicking and screaming but go willingly, giving him charge to do as he pleases. Jeremiah 29:11 says "for I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "Plans for good and not for evil. Plans to give you a future and a hope.' I dont know about you but that sounds like a good plan to me.