OH Sue, Of course you didn't offend me! I do not think there is any place here for that at all. We are all here, in what we can only hope is the most difficult time of our lives, to support and help each other. That means,absolute honesty is essential. I value your thoughts and everyone else's here. They shine a light on what I am thinking and often help me clarify this confusing situation. I do not know where I would be without all of you! I hope we all find exactly what we need.

Alone,
Likewise. I wish we all lived near each other & could meet on a regular basis. How nice & healing that would be :)

Sue, wouldn't that be lovely. =) Women of "a certain age" have the Red Hat Society; we, women of all ages, have the "Red Heart Society"!

Alone, while my situation was very different from yours, I too begged and pleaded and did everything I could think of to make him stay. He threatened divorce so many times over that last many years that I didn't think any more of it than "I think I'll get a glass of water." I hit my end one day, and vividly remember walking in from the barn when once again he threatened divorce. I looked at him and said, "So go." I was finally ready. In my situation Jerk didn't want to be the one to have left. He wanted to be able to tell people it was a mutual decision, and by my 'letting' him go he was able to do that. It was another move on his part to relieve himself of guilt. As is everything with Jerk, it was simply self serving. When you hit that point and finally let go, it is a horrible pain, but a sense of relief comes with it. Hang in there.

Becky,

Your ex sounds exactly like mine. Each time he returned he always waited for me to tell him to leave. They are guilty cowards that always try to find the easy way out of things. I do have to say, You are so right about that sense of relief. I remember the day I finally told my ex...that "This was it, don't ask to come back again...when you walk out that door it is over." Those were the scariest words that ever came out of my mouth, because I knew I would hold true to them. The boys and I were tired of his games. But Oh what a sense of peace and relief I had as well. It was like a big weight was finally lifted off my body. I knew there were more fears to face ahead, but it is way better to face down the fears then to let them swallow you up whole. We overcome something and we move on...life is constantly moving and we must keep moving as well to grab hold of it and live it.

Susan