My husabnd is spending tonight in a htoel room with her, a mini vacation, their first time alone together all night long. I am dying inside, it is all I can think of. Can't sleep, can't eat, can'f function. I found them together 12 days ago. He had been lying to me for 6 months. Even when he orginally left on New Years he said all along that we would reconcile because he loves me and blah blah blah but he just needed some time to work on his issues. We maintained intimacy the entire time, including the night before I caught them. Now I know she is his "issue". I have no words of comfort because the pain is devastating. I will say that I filed for divorce today and said ENOUGH. I will no longer allow him to hurt me and keep me as his "back up plan". He cannot have his cake and eat it too. Today is the day I take my life back. That's what you are doing; for you and your son. Hang on to that and know that her efforts are nothing more than her insecurities. You are the mom, you were the wife, you have all the history. She cannot compete with that.

Thank you and hang in there. You are doing the right thing. my husband kept telling me he would not talk to her anymore and I just kept catching him. And then when I file dor divorce, he begged me to reconsider, but also said the "the women" was only a friend and would always be in his life. Not happening!!!! He would have had not problem staying married to me, having me pay the bills and having a girlfriend too. I can't believe I put up with his crap for 22 years. Enough!!!!

Dear Sad, If you were paying the bills she is actually doing you a favor. There is another fine, good, loyal, hard working man out there for you and he will find you and be a great husband and father to your children. This man you were married to doesn't deserve you that's for sure he deserves this low class home wrecking you know what. In do time they will grow to hate each other because they are both users and there isn't room in a relationship for two users. As Susan pointed out take the high road and show everyone that you have grace and class even in the most trying of circumstances. This is what people will see. I'm am so sorry you have had to suffer this and for them to act so poorly at your son's game is unforgivable. Just know we are all here to support you.

I'm sorry you're dealing with all that. She feels threatened by you. My ex's wife does the same thing sometimes. But I've learned a few things - I do engage them - I will talk nonstop about nothing and everything, laughing, joking around with them. It makes them both very uncomfortable and they get up and move!

LOVE IT! I have found that when I babble to Jerk about nothing, he, too, wants to get away.

They are a couple of low lifes with absolutely no class.

I'm glad you are determined to keep going to your son's games, in spite of them.

Not even knowing them, I'm angry that they could do this to you! It's like they're flaunting their relationship. What in the heck are they trying to prove?

As they sit there laughing and talking...they may be cold-hearted and feel no shame, but believe me this does not escape the eyes of the crowd around you. I know I had sons who were young and in sports and my ex and his young girlfriend always made a show, but they are the blind fools...people don't always come up to you and say they understand and know what fools they are, or sometime's they do, (I have had a few who have) but believe me they see what is happening, they know. I had someone tell me once that once my divorce was final and over, people will come out of the woodwork and tell you what they have seen. This was true also. Even now I run into someone who may say something. Your husband and this woman can live in their own little dream world and believe that just because people aren't coming up to them and saying things, that all is well and good, but truth is always there no matter how quietly it sits. Just ignore them and take the high road. Grace and class go a long way and you know they don't have any for what they do.

PS: I live in a small town and things always get around. I'm sure my ex is out doing damage control. No amount of sugar can change something, it only covers it for so long.

Susan

thank you for your great words.