Men can be deceitful, especially when they want sex. "She tricked me into marrying her." "I only married her because she got pregnant." The list goes on. And it's easy to believe the lies he tells because sometimes you want them to be true. AND Sometimes I think the women don't ask the right questions either.

Case in point: I was out with a friend at a bar one night several months after I got separated (and my stbx got a gf) and started talking with a young man. He was sweet and charming and we really hit it off. Well, I was honest and said I was separated and seeking a divorce from my husband. He invited me home or rather wanted to go to my home. I was tipsy and was inclined to say yes until I thought to ask him about his relationship status. It turned out he had a girlfriend of 7 years and two children which was why he wanted to go to my place. Had I not thought to ask, I would not have known. Knowing made all the difference in the decision. I want to think some fall in love with the wrong person and want to believe the good qualities they think they see.

Others well I think it's a game for them and that they are only looking out for themselves. They think they "win" when they take a man away from someone else. From them, it's about trading up and getting someone to take care of them. Just as men can be users so can women. But that's just my take on it.

Uh huh; that's what happened with Beast. She began husband-shopping before she even contemplated divorcing her husband, who was a good man, devoted to her, treated her kids with affection and respect, let her parents move in with them when her mom had knee surgery...he did all this for her, loved her and her kids and parents, and how did she repay him? By cheating on him, lying about him, and turning people against him.

She wanted the "prestige" and "social position" she thought she'd find with WK. Dumb dumb dumb dummmmmb. WK has no prestige nor social position anymore, thanks to her.

So, what did she "win"? A man who has hour-long conversations with his ex-wife, stepchildren who wouldn't pee on her if she were on fire, and a mountain of debt that "someone else" will have to pay because she refuses to get a job. WINNING! LOL!!

I have wondered too about what kind of woman knowingly does this to another woman, to a family with kids and grandkids. She can't have any heart at all to knowingly break up a family. And I do not see how a man could want a woman like that. Her lack of compassion will eventually extend to him. In my case, I think there are several things in play. I believe with all my heart that my husband is caught in a mid life crisis. He shows so many of the signs and symptoms, it would almost be funny if the situation wasn't so tragic. As for his new friend, she has been divorced for 18 years. If you ask me, I certainly think it's possible that she's run through all the men in her area and had to extend her reach before she got any older. 18 years is a long time to be alone, expecially considering that she started that 18 years at only age 32. That makes me wonder why she hasn't found anyone in all that time. Is it possible that it's her? In that case, my husband being 1400 miles away can only help her out. He is not close enough to interact in person with her very often. She can certainly manage to be her best for the few days a month she sees him. Of course, there is all the passion of longing for and missing each other that helps their relationship to feel even more special. I think she looks at my husband as her last chance to find someone. He is also a great catch for her as his current income is at least 3 times hers. Although to go to her he will hve to change jobs and will be unable to make anything near what he makes now, he will still be making a lot more than her. Of course, my little scenario is just speculation but I know she knows about his family and it doesn't change the fact that she cannot be a very decent person to do what she's doing.

Just wait Alone your husband is going to be one very sorry guy. The red flags are flying all over the place with this women. There is a reason she's still single after 18yrs. This is going to be poetic justice. I bet it doesn't last six months. If your husband makes that much you need to apply for spousal support. Please take everything you can what you leave will just make it easier for him to leave you. What a stupid, stupid man he is!!!!!!!!!! I'd let him go to her and watch how soon he'll be begging you to come back home. Like you said if it wasn't so tragic it would be comical. You sound like you are getting stronger all the time and we are so proud of you. Just know we are here for you always.

Kathleen you are to sweet! I really, really hope things are going well with your husband! You are such a great friend and have touched so many people here. You deserve for all your hopes to come true! Yes, I am getting stronger everyday. And the friends I have here have contributed so much to my growth. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

You are so right. My husband of 34 years got an email from an old girlfriend he has before I even met him. she had cheated on him when they were dating. She has now been married and divorced twice and slept with the last husband while he was married. He cheated on her with his ex wife and she was devistated. So what does she do, look up my husband and sleeps with him knowing how long we had been married. So he then came back once in awhile and slept with me and I felt I just had to share that information with her. She kicked him out and was just chrushed, but as soon as she realized that the fun times and all the gifts and dinners had now stopped she begged him to come back. They are still together. We have only been divorced 6 months.
I think they both got the person they deserve.
Now with that said, I still love the jerk and miss him. How messed up is that???